Mallory Reads "Club Dead"

Welcome to book 3 of the Southern Vampire Mysteries! Yay, if you’ve made it this far! I suppose my biased opinion has not turned you away. J In this book, we will meet two very important characters. Maybe more, I don’t remember. But at least two. Now let me refresh my memory. Time to read Club Dead.

In Chapter 1, bye bye Billie?

Sookie arrives at Bill’s to find his nose stuck in his computer, again. She tells us that for several weeks he has been more interested in whatever he is doing on there than in her. She tries kissing and licking on him, but he doesn’t respond. What the fudge happened to Bill from book 2 who couldn’t stand being apart two weeks? What is so important?

Sookie peeps over his shoulder and sees a man on the screen and info about him. But Bill shuts the computer down when he realizes she’s snooping. He tells her that he is working on a secret assignment. She’s upset because none of his assignments have ever been kept secret from her. But this assignment, he tells her, is not from Eric. It is from the queen of Louisiana. Sookie laughs at this, but Bill does not think it’s funny at all.

Apparently, vampires have kings and queens. They rule over the area sheriffs, like Eric. The queen of Louisiana lives in New Orleans, vampire capitol of the state. We also get a brief history of the vampire’s great reveal. The Japanese vampires were the first to ‘come out’ after a synthetic blood had been invented. Middle Easterners did not take to the vampires, unsurprisingly. Also the French, Germans, and Italians refused to give them citizenship. South Americans and Africans put bounties on their heads, but America, Canada, Japan, Mexico, England, Switzerland, and Scandinavia agreed to give them a chance.

Bill says he must keep working on his project until is it complete and when Sookie suggests she just stay away until then, he agrees. She is hurt by this, of course.

“I have to tell you something,” Bill said in his cold, smooth voice. I stopped in the middle of pulling on my gloves, but I didn’t think I could stand to see him. He could tell my backside. “If anything happens to me,” he continued (and here’s where I should have begun worrying),

WAIT! Let me guess. She should go to… Hoyt? I mean, he’s told her to go to everyone else. He seems to always think something is going to happen to him. Is it really good to be in a relationship with someone who is always in danger? Also, why should this have worried her so much? He’s said the same thing twice already. He’s like the frickin boy who cried wolf. (PUNNY! You’ll see why.)

“you must look in the hiding place I built at your house. My computer should be in it, and some disks. Don’t tell anyone. If the computer isn’t in the hiding place, come over to my house and see if it’s here. Come in the daytime, and come armed. Get the computer and any disks you can find, and hide them in my hidey-hole, as you call it.”

Okay, now this is getting crazier. Is he involved with the mafia or something? You can worry now, Sookie.

“If I’m not back, or if you don’t get word from me, in say…eight weeks-yes, eight weeks, then tell Eric everything I said to you today. And place yourself under his protection.”

Definitely concerned now. Not for Bill’s safety, but for Sookie’s. Bill claims he’s going to Seattle, but Sookie knows he is lying. She leaves his house without speaking.

It may also be important to mention that it is December. Since I’m trying to keep track of how long of a time frame these books span.

The next day on her way to work, Sookie drives by the Bellefleurs to make herself more miserable. They received an anonymous inheritance from a “relative in England.” Really, Bill gave them money. This just weighs on Sookie because… well, I guess because he never buys her anything? I don’t know. Maybe also because she doesn’t like the Bellefleurs.

The short chapter ends with Sookie trying not to feel sorry for herself.

So Bill left. Great way to start the book! (Sorry, Bill fans. Or maybe not.)

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In Chapter 2, something is definitely going on.

As Sookie heads out to work, she sees Bubba hanging outside her house. Eric sent him to watch over her. This makes Sookie reasonably nervous. If Eric sent someone, Bubba especially, to watch Sookie, there must be something wrong. Someone from Fangtasia will be on the way later, Bubba says.

Instead of arguing with the not-so-stable vamp, Sookie agrees to let him come to work with her, but tells him he can’t come into the bar. When he insists he be close to her, she tells him he can chill in Sam’s office. Merlotte’s is very un-busy since it’s Monday night. We get a little history of the bar. Sam bought it five years before and turned it around from a failing business to a decent one.

I’m fond of Sam, and he’s starred in some of my favorite fantasies; but since he dated a beautiful but homicidal creature a couple of months before, my enthusiasm has somewhat faded. He’s for sure my friend, though.

Just kill all of my hopes and dreams, Sookie! Here, have a shovel to bury them with.

So Sookie asks Sam if she can store her “guard” in his office, and he wonders why the vamp can’t just sit out in the bar. About that time a hand grabs Sookie’s shoulder. It’s not Bubba, but another man Sookie does not know, and he’s about ready to punch her lights out. She manages to drop to the floor and Bubba, who has since arrived apparently, grabs the dude and crushes his throat.

Sam takes all of this surprisingly well. Elvis, dead guy…

This particular dead man had been in his forties, and every year of that had been hard. He had tattoos all over his arms, mostly of the poor quality you get in jail, and he was missing some crucial teeth. He was dressed in what I thought of as biker clothes: greasy blue jeans and a leather vest, with an obscene T-shirt underneath.

Sam wonders what is on the back of the vest so Bubba rolls him over. There is a picture of a wolf. Uhoh. Sam confirms this is a werewolf. Bubba saw the guy come into the bar right after Sookie. The guy had duct tape and gags in his car so one can only assume he meant to kidnap her. What is Bill into? I’m assuming this is Bill’s fault.

The door to the hall starts to open and it is cop Kevin. Sookie rushes to block him, giving him the excuse that the bathroom floors are flooded and they are cleaning it up. Sam suggests they call the police but Sookie doesn’t know how they could explain Bubba. So instead, the mens take the body back to his car while Sookie mops up. Kevin comes in, and is obviously suspicious, but Sookie just insists she has to get back to work.

In the bar we meet Jane Bodehouse, neighborhood drunk. Charlsie is bored out of her mind and Arlene is chilling at a table with her new boyfriend, Buck. Arlene does ask Sookie if the motorcycle man found her. He came into the bar looking for Bill Compton’s girlfriend and Arlene told him what Sookie looked like. Thanks, Arlene.

Later, Sam tells Sookie that the car the man was driving has Mississippi license plates. After most patrons have cleared out, except Jane, Pam arrives. Bearer of bad news. Bill is missing.

Did I say bad news? ;)

Pam tells Sookie that Bill lied to her, which she kind of already knew. He was not in Seattle, he was in Mississippi. Pam says they are doing everything they can to find him, but that they need to watch after Sookie because they think whoever took Bill is after her too. Sam informs Pam Sookie was already almost attacked, what happened and where the body is. Pam reveals Bill was due in the night before, a detail Sookie had not known.

Pam calls Eric and puts him on the phone with Sookie. He tells her to keep quiet about what has happened and to go on living life like normal. Someone will be watching after her all the time. He also says they will avenge Bill. So, Eric thinks Bill is dead. (I choose not to get my hopes up.) Pam tells her Bill had some bad news for her and Eric scolds his childe. (Childe is a vampire word. When a vampire makes another vampire (siring) that vampire is then considered a childe.)

Then, Sookie leaves. Just leaves the bar. To her credit, she feels bad about it.

I faltered as I was getting into my car. I should stay at Merlotte’s to help dispose of the body. Sam wasn’t a vampire, and he was only involved in this for my sake. This wasn’t fair to him. But after only a second’s hesitation, I drove away. Bubba could help him, and Pam--Pam, who knew all, while I knew nothing.

Somebody’s bitter. Understandably. I would be pretty p-oed if my boyfriend was leaving me out of the loop on important matters that concerned me.

Sookie gets home and throws herself a pity party.

No Bill. So, no vampires: no Eric, Pam or Bubba. No supernatural creatures: no Weres, shape-shifters, or maenads. I wouldn’t have encountered them, either, if it hadn’t been for my involvement with Bill.

That’s not necessarily true. Sam may have eventually revealed himself to her. Additionally, there’s no way in hell Eric is gonna leave her alone just because Bill’s dead. In fact, he might be more likely to “need her help” more often.

Sookie also mopes over the fact that if Bill’s dead she has no one to have sex with. Well, except for JB. Odd given she has two handsome supernatural beings whose minds she can mostly not read chasing after her.

She comes to the realization I did about Eric. Bill did tell her to go to him if anything happened. Of course, didn’t he also tell her to get his computer and disks and take those to tall, blonde, and gorgeous? I suppose her brain is too clouded with sadness to remember.

She’s super sad too, apparently. More sad than when her parents or Gran died. Partly because Bill’s the only man she’s ever loved and partly because he lied to her and left willingly.  She goes to bed and cries and misses Bill.

Also we find out Jason’s woman was not pregnant after all. Very likely a good thing.

The sweetest part of being a couple was sharing your life with someone else. But my life, evidently, had not been good enough to share.

Aww, Sook. Don’t think like that. You’re awesome, girl! Don’t let stupid Bill get you down. There’s other fish in the sea… supes in the state…whatever… Just feel better. When you are sad, I am sad.

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In Chapter 3, more secrets!

The next day as she’s still moping, Sookie remembers that she is supposed to check on Bill’s computer. She finds it in the hidey-hole, along with the disks and a printer. Then she lies down and sleeps some more.

When she wakes up, Bill is back in bed next to her, snuggling her. She hugs him and nuzzles him, glad he’s back. Only… it doesn’t smell like Bill. (Hey, wasn’t she all weirded out about vampires being able to smell her? Wait, maybe that was me.)

Alas, her bedmate is not Bill after all. It is Eric. He informs her that she needs a shower. Ever tactful. She’s a little bit peeved, but showers anyway.

Vampire fact: their invitation into a human’s house can be rescinded. But Sookie is afraid to rescind Eric’s because danger follows her around like nobody’s business.

Sookie puts on a Christmas sweater and dries her hair, wishing Bill was there to brush it. (Still weird.) Then she reflects on her tan.

I’m a summer person. I like the sun, and the short dresses, and the feeling you had many hours of light to do whatever you chose.

She loves the sun? That doesn’t sound like the thoughts of someone who wants to be a vampire.

She screams her frustrations about Bill and then invites Pam and Chow, the new bartender, into the house. They scope it out, scrutinizing every detail. She describes it in great detail and so with my wonderful artistic abilities, I’m going to draw it out.

 I know, I know. It’s amazing.

They sit at the kitchen table and Sookie gets them all some blood. They tell her that there were some human witnesses to Bill’s kidnapping but that they aren’t talking. Eric can’t force them to because they are under the rule of the King of Mississippi. Sookie laughs hysterically at this. She asks Eric if he is the King of Louisiana (I cannot tell you how many times I have misspelled Louisina…just did it again. Dang it! Why can’t I spell that effin word?) and he informs her that he is the Sheriff of Area 5, under the Queen’s rule. Didn’t we know that already?

As Sookie continues laughing, Eric explains that there has been a vampire hierarchy since vampires first moved to America. Each “kingdom” is divided into areas, each with its own sheriff.

I pictured Eric as the sheriff of Nottingham, and when that had lost amusement value, as Wyatt Earp.

LOL. That is a funny thought.

Russell Edgington, the King of Mississippi, may be behind the kidnapping so Eric does not want to ask his permission to speak with his humans. But Sookie would not have to have permission to peek into their minds. Supposedly, Russell’s second in command, Betty Jo Pickard, was set to fly to St. Louis. Someone switched her coffin with Bill’s, and someone else jacked Bill’s coffin from the airport.

Eric thinks Bill was taken because of the special secret project he was working on; a project which Eric knew nothing about. Or rather, he didn’t know any of the details. The vampires all think that Sookie knows what Bill was up to. She insists she doesn’t, which is mostly true. She didn’t know what he was working on, just that it was something on the computer. She doesn’t tell them about the stuff hidden in the hidey hole. Eric halfway threatens her but she doesn’t crack.

Well, she doesn’t admit to knowing things. She does start crying, which makes Pam all uncomfortable. Sookie knows now that what Bill was doing was all Bill. Not Eric. Pam decides that before they send her off to Mississippi, they should tell her the truth about Bill. Eric sends Pam and Chow outside. He tells Sookie that he doesn’t like when she’s afraid of him because he’s fond of her. (Code for he wants to sleep with her, which he also admits.)

“I’m not going to torture you. For one thing, I would hate to ruin that beautiful skin; one day, I will see all of it.”

Could this be an accurate prediction of the future? *sly grin*

“You won’t always be so afraid of me,” he said, as if he were absolutely certain of the future. “And you won’t always be as devoted to Bill as you are now. There is something I must tell you.”

What is it? What? What?

“Bill was summoned to Mississippi,” Eric told me, “by a vampire--a female--he’d known many years ago. I don’t know if you’ve realized that vampires almost never mate with other vampires, for any longer than a rare one-night affair. We don’t do this because it gives us power over each other forever, the mating and sharing of blood.”

This is an interesting new development. To answer the question, do vampires date each other? That would be a no. Mostly. But it would seem that Bill did this. The girl vamp, Lorena, and Bill were together for years….in Seattle. Isn’t that where Bill claimed he was going?

One can assume they…mated, which means they have power over each other. This can’t be good.

“He was--he became--instantly enthralled with her, all over again. After a few nights, he called Pam to say that he was coming home early without telling you, so he could arrange your future care before he saw you again.” “Future care?” “Bill wanted to make a financial arrangement for you.”

Sookie gets upset, and I’m totally with her. He’s taking off with his ex, so as a consolation prize, Sookie gets some cash.

Eric didn’t want to tell her any of this because he was afraid she might refuse to go look for Bill. And if Bill is not found, Eric will be in trouble with the Queen. He has a contact in Shreveport, a Were, who is originally from Jackson. The man will accompany Sookie to Mississippi and introduce her to supes he knows. This will hopefully get her close to Russell’s humans. The man owes Eric a favor, he says.

He’s giving her around three days to get some info. After that, he may be forced to kidnap a Mississippi vamp, which could start a war. He’s hoping to avoid such things. But he promises to try his best to get Bill back.

“To answer your question: I am your friend, and that will last as long as I can be your friend without jeopardizing my own life. Or the future of my area.”

How sweet.

Sookie asks Eric what will happen if they do not get Bill back to the Queen and he just insists very bad things. In return for her help, Sookie asks for one thing. If something happens to her, she wants Eric to kill Lorena. She admits that she would do it herself if the woman was human.

After Eric leaves, Sookie ponders on how she’s become way more angry since she started hanging around vampires.

Wonder what that could mean.

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In Chapter 4, on the road again…

Sookie does some laundry and wonders if maybe Bill wasn’t kidnapped, but defected. Maybe he chose Mississippi instead. But surely, she thinks, he would have done it all less dramatically.

The next morning there’s a knock at the door.

He was huge. His eyes were green. His tousled hair was curly and thick and black as pitch. His brain buzzed and pulsed with energy; kind of a red effect. Werewolf.

Sookie offers him some breakfast and discovers his name is Alcide Herveaux. After she cooks and he eats everything, she washes dishes and reminisces of the life she imagined.

As I looked out the kitchen window at the cold landscape, I realized that this was how I had envisioned my future; on the few occasions I’d let myself imagine a man sharing my house. That was the way life was supposed to be, for normal people. It was morning, time to get up and work, time for a woman to cook breakfast for a man, if he had to go out and earn. This big rough man was eating real food. He almost certainly had a pickup truck sitting out in front of my house.

I think we’re still seeing some of Sookie’s doubts creep through. She hasn’t totally let go of wanting a normal(ish) human life.

Sookie wonders how the vampires are making Alcide do their bidding. He explains that it is because of a debt owed by his father, a man with a gambling problem. His dad owns a surveying company and if the vamps call is his marker, he’ll lose everything. In order to get this marker back, Alcide must accompany Sookie to vampire haunts in Jackson. Alcide asks how Sookie got mixed up in all of this.

She explains about Bill being her boyfriend, or how he was. Maybe not so much now. How sad. She tells him she was already attacked by another werewolf so he can be on the lookout for danger. She doesn’t reveal to him that she can read minds just yet.

Alcide tells Sookie she better be weary of Eric, who may double-cross her. At this point, I’m not sure I think Eric would double-cross Sookie, but Alcide definitely has a point, and Eric did say that he would look out for Sookie as long as it didn’t put him and his people in danger. The werewolf’s plan to introduce Sookie to the vampires is to take her to a club for supes. She’ll have to pose as his date to get in.

Sookie asks about his girlfriend and he admits she lives in Jackson, but that they broke up a few months before. She left him for another shape-shifter, an owl. Sookie makes sure to pack some nice dresses for the club and then gives Sam a call. He offers to check on her house for her but Jason has that covered. When he finds out she’s going to Mississippi and not with Bill, he gets worried. He seems to recognize Alcide’s name and demands to speak with him. Alcide tells Sookie Sam made him promise to take care of her. Then, say he hopes he can, which is worrying to everyone.

On the way to Jackson, Sookie learns about her escort. Alcide and his dad own Herveaux and Son, AAA Accurate Surveys. It has offices in Jackson, Monroe, Shreveport, and Baton Rouge. Alcide’s parents are both werewolves.

Another list item! Only this one is about shape-shifters. According to Alcide, the only way to produce a shifter is if both parents are shifters. Also, only the first born child will have the shifter gene. They turn when they hit puberty.

“So, your ex-girlfriend…she a shifter?” “Yeah. I don’t normally date shifters, but I guess I thought with her it would be different. Weres and shifters are strongly attracted to each other. Animal magnetism, I guess,” Alcide said, as an attempt at humor.

I included that because it will be important later.

Apparently, Sam is looking for him a shifter woman. He doesn’t feel comfortable with regular humans. Ugh.

Alcide talks more about his girlfriend. Turns out, she had deceived him. He’s not thrilled about dating regular human girls either, but a man’s gotta have someone to have sex with. He doesn’t say that exactly, but it’s what he means. Sookie realizes she really misses sex.

Alcide also reveals that if a human is bitten by a Were, they will turn into half creatures. Like the wolf-man. This does not pass on to their children, though. Also they don’t live long. I’m not sure if this is because they can’t hang as Weres or because being half actually hurts their body systems somehow. Alcide is convinced the two-natured could never “come out” like the vampires did because he fears they would be locked up and experimented on or something.

The werewolf trusts Sookie and tells her he feels like he already knows her. He also tells her his mother died, and that’s when his dad started gambling. Sookie shares about her sad life and the loss of most of her family members. She talks about the Descendents of the Glorious Dead and how Bill came to speak with them. When Alcide asks who made Bill a vampire, Sookie admits that she doesn’t know. Bill never wants to talk about it. Sookie says she doesn’t think Bill is her boyfriend anymore. Alcide doesn’t seem sad about this. Neither do I.

They arrive at Alcide’s apartment building. His condo has a small kitchen area, living room, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Sookie gets settled in and mopes about her finances. Alcide comes in and tries to comfort her.

He sat beside me and put his arm around me. He was so warm. He smelled like Tide detergent, and Irish Spring soap, and man. I closed my eyes and counted to ten again.

Sookie… (using my warning voice)

My body was begging me to knock Alcide Herveaux back onto the bed so it could have its way with him. Right now.

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Lucky for Sookie, Alcide has to run some errands. They agree they’ll eat dinner and a local diner before they go to the club later. Alcide tells Sookie she could go visit his sister, Janice, if she wants while he’s gone. Janice owns a beauty shop and since Sookie is pretending to be Alcide’s girlfriend, the woman would be happy to meet her.

Sookie is confused about his niceness, and they part, both not what the other expected.

Am I sensing another contender in this race for Sookie’s affections? Hmm…

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In Chapter 5, Club Dead.

At the beginning of the chapter Sookie is getting her hair did. Janice Phillips, Alcide’s sister, is a friendly chatterbox. She’s married with a child and tall and attractive like Alcide. Sookie offers to pay, but Janice refuses.

“Even if you break up with Alcide tomorrow, just getting him through tonight will be worth it.”

What’s tonight? Oh just the night Alcide’s ex is announcing her engagement. At Club Dead. Where Sookie and Alcide are going. Uh-oh.

Sookie gets the works, hair, nails. She enjoys the feeling of being pampered, since she never gets nice things ever. Sookie even has to remind herself she’s not actually Alcide’s girlfriend. (Well, maybe one day she will be…) She even prevents a thieving rich lady from stealing Janice’s earrings.

She heads back to the apartment to wait for Alcide. When he returns, they get ready to head to the club. Sookie comes out wearing a red dress and makes Alcide spill his drink. I think I like Alcide. This seems to be the best outfit Sookie has worn out yet! Alcide is wearing a suit. He continues to compliment her as they head to dinner. They eat at the Mayflower Café, where everyone and their mama stops by to talk to Alcide, and then he pays for dinner. Yep, I like Alcide.

Sookie can’t figure out what Alcide’s flaws are. I can’t either.

She finally tells him that she is a telepath and that one of the men who stopped to talk to him at the diner is planning to screw him over. He seems to take the news rather well. Well, until she tells him she can halfway read his. She can only really hear shape-shifter’s thought when they think directly at her. He seems glad that she can’t read him well. Probably because he’s been having inappropriate thoughts about her.

They discuss the plan for Sookie to read the thoughts of the humans in the bar. When they arrive at the club, Sookie is sketched out.

Uneasiness crawled down my back. I felt a deep reluctance to stop at that bit of sidewalk.

Stop stop! Always trust your gut. But they go on in anyway. Alcide tells Sookie that regular humans are allowed in but have to pay exorbitant prices and get scared into leaving. The club is actually called Josephine’s, but the Weres call it Club Dead. I like Club Dead better. The bouncer is a goblin.

I had never seen one before, but the word “goblin” popped into my mind as if I had a supernatural dictionary printed on the inside of my eyeballs. He was very short and very cranky-looking, with a knobby face and broad hands. His eyes were full of fire and malignance.

He seems pleasant. The inside looks like your average bar, except their rules. “No changing on the premises.” “No biting of any kind.” “No live snacks.”

A look around reveals vamps, Weres, and humans. There is one group of Weres being obnoxiously loud.

The center of this group appeared to be a tall young woman with gleaming short black hair, an athletic build, and a long, narrow face. She was draped over a square man of her own age, which I guessed to be about twenty-eight. He had round eyes and a flat nose and the softest looking hair I’d ever seen.

Debbie and her new man, I’d guess. Sookie and Alcide take a seat at a table, Alcide with his back to the party. Bless his little broken heart. But this girl seems like a bitch. Sookie notices Debbie staring at them and starts acting more like a date, touching Alcide’s hair. (Some men just have great hair, you know. Like Ian Somerhalder. I can’t tell you how many times my mother has vocalized her desire to touch his hair.)

Alcide talks a little more about his family, how his dad had been poor when he first started his business and all, and then who should wander up to the table but Debbie. She implies Alcide called rent-a-date because he’d once said he’d never get over her. See… bitch. They pull one over on her when she asks Sookie about Alcide’s tattoo and he thinks directly at her that it’s an ass bunny. (LOL ass bunny.) Debbie gets all pissed and Sookie looks into her thoughts.

She was so focused, so controlled, that her mind was a lot less opaque than most shifters’. She was thinking about her owl fiancé, about how he wasn’t as good in the sack as Alcide, but he had a lot of ready cash and he was willing to have children, which Alcide wasn’t. And she was stronger than the owl, able to dominate him.

One important detail of this that Sookie doesn’t focus on is that Alcide does not want to have children. This will be something she will need to think about in the future if they do in fact become more than friends. Also, Debbie is still a bitch.

Then she implies that Sookie is a hooker.

It took every bit of resolution I had to hang on to a ladylike self-control. I felt the primitive self, the truer me, swim nearly to the surface.

I’m beginning to get the sense that Sookie thinks she is really not a nice, sweet, caring person, but really a dark and ruthless one. I mean, she did insist she would kill Lorena earlier.

Debbie does halfway apologize for her comment but no one cares cause now we hate her. She stomps off and then everything gets worse. Or better, depending on how you look at it. A group of Weres come in the bar wearing motorcycle attire, the wolf on their leather vests matching the one worn by Sookie’s attacker.

Alcide decides they should dance and apparently they are both good at it.

The good thing about dancing is that you don’t have to talk for a while, if you feel chatted out. The bad thing is it makes you hyperconscious of your partner’s body. I had already been uncomfortably aware of Alcide’s--excuse me--animal magnetism. Now, so close to him, swaying in rhythm with him, following his every move, I found myself in a kind of trance.

Oh snap. Maybe these two hooking up will happen sooner rather than later. But alas, the song ends and a fast one begins. They dance a little to that and Sookie picks up on some brain waves. A human at the bar is thinking about Bill. Alcide goes to the little boy’s room and leaves Sookie at the bar near the man and his vampire companion. The man has been trying to keep Bill awake all day.

Keeping a vampire awake during the day was the worst kind of torture. It was difficult to do, too. The compulsion to sleep when the sun came up was imperative, and the sleep itself was like death.

So vamps really need their sleep, I guess. They, whoever they are, want some information from Bill and have decided to torture him to get it. And Sookie is all sad about it. UGH, SOOKIE! REMEMBER WHAT HE FREEKIN DID TO YOU? HE LEFT YOU FOR A VAMPIRE SLUT!!! Though, in all fairness, we don’t actually know that Bill left by choice.

Since she’s all wrapped up in misery, Sookie doesn’t notice one of the biker Weres approach her until he grabs her arm. Okay, dude, you are an a-hole pig. Never should a man just walk up and grab a woman’s arm. Rude much? It’s pretty clear this guy is not one for manners though. Sookie refuses his offer to join him and his friends but he won’t let it go. She refuses him a second time and when he pushes her, she stomps on his foot.

He doesn’t let her go, but instead grabs her other shoulder. She yells at him and knees him in the crotch. Alcide arrives then, grabbing the dude by the back of the neck. Mr. Hob, the goblin bouncer, steps in as the other Weres come to help their scummy friend. He picks up the biker and throws him outside. Literally. Hehe.

Sookie takes a baseball bat from the bartender and holds it up. Okay, LOL, I have to say this made me laugh. Imagining Sookie, wearing her long red dress, holding up a baseball bat like she’s about to make a home run out of some biker’s head.

Before she gets the chance to use it, a small vampire man steps in between the Weres and Sookie and Alcide.

Maybe five feet five with his shoes on, he was also slight of build. When he’d died, he’d been in his early twenties, I guessed. Clean-shaven and very pale, he had eyes the color of bitter chocolate, a jarring contrast with his red hair.

The vampire insists the Weres leave after apologizing to Sookie. When one of them starts at them, Sookie hands the bat to the vampire, who breaks the Were’s leg immediately. The others lift him and leave the bar. Smart move, fellas.

Sookie’s shoulder is bleeding slightly from where the Were’s fingernails dug in, so she offers the blood to the vampire. I know it might be good etiquette, but gross. The vampire introduces himself as Russell Edgington. Oh crap! The king of Mississippi! Mr. Edgington acts all friendly, but Sookie doubts his intentions. He knows Alcide’s family but doesn’t seem to recognize Sookie’s name when she tells it to him. (I would not have told him my real name since she now knows that he has Bill and what if he knows Bill’s girlfriend’s name?) She and Alcide go to leave and Russell tells her to come back the next night.

When Alcide returns with Sookie’s purse and scarf, he reveals someone damaged the scarf. Debbie, no doubt. Alcide gives Sookie his jacket to wear outside. Awwww!

In the car, Sookie tells Alcide that Russell has Bill. He wonders why, and Sookie knows but won’t tell.

So I’m a little confused. Did I miss something? Or is she talking about how she knows that he was doing something for the queen? She never actually looked at his disks or found out what he was doing, did she? Confusion abounds in my head right now.

------------------------------------

In Chapter 6, Sookie wants a sister-in-law.

When they return from the bar, Sookie is heading to bed. But Alcide offers to unzip her dress. Then he touches her back.

I shivered all over as his fingers trailed down my skin. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

I think I know.

“Worst possible time,” I said. “You’re on the rebound. I’m looking for my boyfriend; granted, he’s my unfaithful boyfriend, but still…” “Bad timing,” he agreed, and his hands settled on my shoulders. Then he bent down and kissed me. It took about a half a second for my arms to go around his waist and his tongue to slide into my mouth. He kissed soft. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and find out how broad his chest was and if his butt was really as high and round as it looked in his pants…

Teehee. But then she comes to her senses and pulls away. He tells her he hopes that soon, it is better timing. Sookie gets ready for bed and tries to read a book she brought with her. But it’s a romance and she happens to be at the scene where the heroine hooks up with her man. It takes her mind off of everything that happened and the bar, but sets it on Alcide. Bad Sookie! J

Right as she is drifting off to sleep there is a knock at her window. She screams but then realizes it’s Eric. Alcide runs in the room, realizes what is going on, and then invites Eric in. The vamp wants an update on Bill. Sookie tells him what she knows. Eric is convinced they plan to kill Bill once they get their information. Eric seems excited that Russell invited Sookie back to the bar. He wants her to go and read all the minds! She planned to do that already, Eric.

Alcide rescinds Eric’s invitation when he makes no move to leave. Then they finally get to bed. Separately.

The next morning, Sookie wakes to find Alcide gone. He’s out running errands. She watches TV, takes a shower, reads, straightens up, and gets bored. She is not used to being bored apparently. She decides to get all down and thinks about Bill and how much it hurts that he’s gone.

She goes for a walk and thinks more about Bill. It is close to Christmas and she wonders if he will be home. Then she thinks about presents she is getting for everyone: Jason, Arlene, Sam. While she’s all lost in thought, she doesn’t realize she has walked back toward Janice’s salon. The woman calls to her to come over. They chat a little about the night before and what Sookie’s plans for the day are.

A woman who is getting her hair done tells Sookie and Janice that Debbie Pelt is involved in devil worshiping or witchcraft. At first, both are concerned the woman knows about the two-natured. But she doesn’t. But now Sookie knows Janice knows about Alcide and Janice knows Sookie knows as well.

When Sookie tells the woman she’s wearing a champagne colored dress that evening, she insists on Sookie getting her nails painted. She also gets her hair done up again. Sookie tells Janice she is a barmaid and Janice informs her that Debbie is a legal assistant. That seems odd to me, but okay. Janice doesn’t seem to care what Sookie’s job is, which only makes her more likeable.

I had to remind myself all over again that this setup with Alcide was a temporary arrangement he’d never asked for, and that after I’d discovered Bill’s whereabouts--right, Sookie, remember Bill, your boyfriend?--I’d never see Alcide again.

But Janice likes her and she kind of wishes Alcide really liked her, too. I got news for her. I think he does.

-----------------------------

In Chapter 7, oooo that smell.

When Sookie returns, she discovers Alcide was out buying Christmas presents. She can tell by his look that he is worried about something; worried about what she will say. Did he buy her a Christmas present? He doesn’t tell her what it is and she doesn’t ask or read his mind to find out. She notices that something smells bad but ignores it.

Someone comes to the door. It’s Dell Phillips, Janice’s husband. Alcide is disappointed that he didn’t bring Tommy, his nephew. Dell informs him that since Alcide had a woman staying with him, it wasn’t appropriate. Sookie and Alcide are both surprised by his attitude. Kind of a jerk move, dude. Sookie goes to her bedroom until Dell leaves. Then Alcide wants to play Scrabble. How…normal. They sit and play the game for a while. When they get done, Sookie goes to put the game in a closet. The bad smell is even worse now.

She opens the closet door and finds the source of the smell. A dead werewolf. The same werewolf that had been kicked out of Club Dead the night before after grabbing Sookie. His neck has been broken. And he’s been dead for several hours.

Sookie wants to call the police but Alcide talks her out of it. Even if the Weres don’t bring up the altercation from the night before, they will surely come after them for revenge. Instead, they decide to get rid of the body. They decide to wrap his body up in the shower curtain and sneak him down to Alcide’s truck. After he’s all wrapped up, Sookie goes to wait for the elevator. A man comes up and tries to talk to her but she’s in no mood for chatting. She pretends to have forgotten her keys. When the coast is clear, Alcide brings the body out, draped over his shoulder. They get on the elevator and take it down a few floors.

They get nervous that someone will stop the elevator, so they get off on the 3^rd floor and take the stairs the rest of the way down. A woman and her daughter are in the parking garage so they have to wait for them to get on the elevator before they dash to Alcide’s truck. Luckily he has a cover over his truck bed. They get the body inside and close it up. They’re both nervous wrecks as they drive, afraid they will be pulled over at any time.

They drive for a while and take an exit off of the highway. Alcide drives them North and then into some woods onto a hunting club’s land where they dump the body. Since it is December, deer season is over for a while and no one will find the body anytime soon. Wisely, they take the shower curtain with them.

Alcide has a brief moment of…wolfiness? Tonight is the full moon. Well, that can’t be good. Shifters have to change at the full moon I think. He snaps out of it though and they get back in the truck and drive away. They make a pit stop at Wal-Mart to buy a new shower curtain and cleaning supplies. Sookie has a sad moment of Bill thoughts (she may never get to give him a Christmas present) but then the focus is back on the dead Were. Alcide pays in cash (smart) and they head out.

On the way to dinner, they discuss who they think may have killed the dude and how they could have gotten the body into the apartment. Only Alcide and his dad have keys and the apartment wasn’t broken into. The building manager has one he gives to the cleaning lady but she only comes when they call her. Also, the security guard. Okay so four people have keys. But then…Sookie asks the tough questions (like Fox 5 News). Did Debbie have a key? Why yes she did.

Well, mystery solved, people. Sort of.

Alcide figures the body had to have been dumped while they were both sleeping. They consider Eric. But really, it couldn’t have been Eric. Alcide rescinded his invitation. It’s probably Debbie, y’all. Quit coming up with more suspects. Sookie says Eric wants in her pants and Alcide admits he does, too. But Sookie knows he is hung up on Debbie. She is right, of course, but Alcide doesn’t understand why he can’t get over Debbie cause Sookie is so much better than her.

“Why do I care about her? I’m not sure I even like her. I like the hell out of you.”

Aww. Bonus points, wolf-man.

“We’re obviously better for each other than either of the people we’re dating are for us,” he said.

Undeniably true. “Yes, and I would be happy with you.”

“And I’d enjoy sharing my day with you.”

“But it looks like we’re not going to get there.”

“No.” He sighed heavily. “I guess not.”

=(

“What I think I’ll do,” Alcide said, “is I’ll do my best to yank Debbie out of me by the roots. And then I’ll turn up on your doorstep, one day when you least expect it, and I’ll hope by then you will have given up on your vampire.”

“And then we’ll be happily ever after?” I smiled.

He nodded.

“Well, that’ll be something to look forward to,” I told him.

I have to wonder if this might actually happen in one of these books. It would be kind of sweet, I think. (I think for now, anyway. I am likely to change my opinion of Alcide later on.) It would be nice for Sookie to get that kind of happily ever after. Except with no kids, cause at least according to Debbie, he doesn’t want any.

----------------------------------

In Chapter 8, getting away with murder.

They arrive back at Alcide’s and start doing some cleaning and re-hanging of new shower curtains. (They disposed of the other one in a random dumpster.) Once they are satisfied the smell is gone, Sookie goes to take a nap. But not before this:

“We just did something really illegal,” I said, still uneasy about my own immorality. “But all I really feel is happy we got away with it.” “Don’t worry about feeling guilty,” Alcide said. “Something’ll come along pretty soon that you’ll feel guilty about. Save it up.” That was such good advice I decided to try it.

That is good advice actually. Although for most people, disposing of a body would be one of those situations you should feel guilty about probably. But it’s the sentiment that counts. When Sookie wakes up, there is someone else in the apartment. It is another Were. He’s out in the living room talking to Alcide about some guy named Jerry Falcon.

Jerry came to his apartment the night before to tell him about what had happened at Club Dead. Jerry Falcon is the Were who hurt Sookie. Jerry Falcon is the dead guy. When Alcide mentions that Jerry hurt Sookie, drew blood from her shoulder, the man gets all tense.

“A blood offense.” The voice had become deadly serious.

I’m guessing a blood offense is a very bad thing. Alcide explains to the man what happened at the club. When he mentions that Mr. Hob threw the dude out, the other Were notes that must explain the burns on Jerry. Hmm. So goblins burn you when they touch you? Is that everyone or just supes?

The man, Terence, is also unhappy to learn that Russell Edgington was the one to end the fight. Alcide also calls this Terence’s city. What does he mean by that? Oh wait, Terence is the pack master for the Jackson wolf pack. Jerry and his peeps are among the few who work for vampires and he was like a semi leader. Terence urges Alcide to leave the city. But Alcide says they have to stay one more night and they have to go back to the club because Russell invited them personally. Terence doesn’t think this is a good plan, as there is a full moon tonight, and I agree with him. Bad things are likely to happen.

The good news is, Terence doesn’t seem to know that Jerry is dead. He warns Alcide to leave town soon and stay away from Jerry at all costs. Not a problem, Terence, not a problem.

Sookie gets startled out of her eavesdropping by a knock at her window. Eric. She shushes him, knowing if she lets him in the Were will hear. Finally, Terence leaves and Alcide comes to Sookie’s room. She admits she was listening in on their conversation and then they let Eric in. Eric is looking dapper tonight, with a suit and glasses on. A disguise.

Alcide immediately accuses Eric of putting the body in the closet. Wait, hold up. I thought we had all agreed that Debbie was the culprit. Also, as I stated before, how could Eric have gotten into the apartment without being invited? Huh? Huh? Eric looks stunned and obviously didn’t know about the body. He asks if the body was Bubba, who is also now missing. Well, great.

They explain everything about the dead Jerry to Eric. He demands to see Sookie’s injured shoulder. They all wonder again who put dead guy there, and why. Alcide tells Eric they dumped the body, the packmaster came to see him, and that, at least for now, they have gotten away with it.

Sookie wonders why whoever left the body in the closet didn’t call the police right then to report it. That would be the logical thing to do if you were trying to pin a murder on someone. So many questions!! Eric informs them that he will be accompanying them to the club under the guise of being Alcide’s friend from out of town who came to meet his new girlfriend. Alcide thinks his plan is dangerous because one of the other vampires might recognize him, but Eric insists that he go because he might pick up on something that they don’t. I have a sneaking suspicion there is another reason he wants to go.

Eric asks to be alone with Sookie and Alcide, though unhappy about it, leaves the room. Eric offers to heal Sookie’s wound for her, but she declines. Half of the bar saw her get the wound and since she is only human, there is no way it would have healed that fast on its own. Can’t have Russell knowing she drank another vampire’s blood, I guess.

Then, Eric does the unexpected. He takes Sookie by the hands and says:

“I have searched Jackson. I have looked in warehouses, cemeteries, farmhouses, and anyplace that had a trace of vampire scent about it: every property Edgington owns, and some his followers own. I haven’t found a trace of Bill. I am very afraid, Sookie, that it is becoming most likely that Bill is dead. Finally dead.”

This feels like a major blow to Sookie, who still really cares about Bill. Why do people keep bringing him up just when I’m starting to forget he exists? Sookie collapses and Eric catches her cause he’s so fast. When she starts to cry, he licks her tears away. How…weird. She’s not unicorn bate! (Sorry, that just reminded me of the Vampire Diaries novels. Damon would lick Elena’s tears and tell her she was unicorn bate [a virgin].)

Eric offers a bit of comfort. He hasn’t checked Edginton’s mansion, for obvious reasons. It is patrolled by Weres and he was not invited. (Not that he has to be invited into another vampire’s home, but it’s a hierarchy thing.) It’s ballsy for Russell to keep a prisoner in his own home, but apparently he’s been the king for like ever so he may not give a crap about rules. Then Eric wants Sookie to tell him what Bill was working on.

She realizes that’s why he was being nice all along. He wanted information. She hops right off of his lap and tells him off. He gets mad right back and insists he really does think Bill is dead and that he’s trying to save the lives of himself and her. Sookie informs him that she will find Bill. Eric tells her she can’t try to flirt with Russell since he’s gay and not gullible. His second, Betty Joe, might fall for Eric’s charms but, as he explained before, vampires do not usually mate with each other.

“I can’t tell you how unusual Bill’s fascination with Lorena is. In fact, we disapprove of vampires loving others of our kind.”

Sookie decides to ignore this statement but not me. I still think this is curious. I know Eric had said vamps don’t hook up because it gives them some sort of control over each other, but I would think that would be a rather sad life. If they ever loved at all, it would be a human or shifter (who live the same lifespan as a human I assume) and the vampire would have to lose people they loved over and over forever. Also, if vampires don’t date each other then it would not make sense for Sookie to ever become one. Something to keep in mind.

Eric tells Sookie she must find a way to get herself invited to Russell’s mansion because that could be the only way they find out if Bill is being kept there.

“He could be somewhere else in the city,” Eric said casually. “But I don’t think so. The possibility is faint. Remember, Sookie, they’ve had him for days now.” When Eric looked at me, what I saw in his face was pity. That frightened me more than anything.

So of course I’m not actually convinced Bill is dead. I’m sure he’ll make it back to Bon Temps and get back with Sookie and irritate me some more. (This was my feeling the first time I read this. Now, obviously I know what happens.) But if he is dead, even though that would kind of make me happy, there would still always be this, ‘well, would Sookie still be with him if he were alive?’ thing. I would just rather him live and her choose someone else anyway.

------------------------------

In Chapter 9, Dirty Dancing vs. Gone With the Wind.

Sookie gets dressed for the club, worrying all the while. Since Terrence told Alcide to get lost, this is the last time he can go to the club. So if Sookie does not find out the information she needs, she will have to go back alone. If that is even possible. When she comes out to the living room, Alcide is looking all nervous. He hands her a box. Aww, he did buy her a present!

Team Alcide!!!

It’s a new scarf to replace the one that Debbie ruined. And it just happens to go well with the dress that Sookie is wearing. She gets a little teary at his thoughtfulness.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s go to Club Dead. We’ll learn everything, tonight, and no one will get hurt.”

Optimism killed the cat.

When they get to the club, Mr. Hob informs them that he does not want any trouble tonight. Why do I have the feeling he is not going to get his wish? They are ushered to Russell’s table where he is seated with his boyfriend Talbot. (So, I don’t know if y’all watch True Blood, but I simply cannot think of Talbot anymore without laughing. Jar of Talbot. LOL. Just watch the show and you will see.) Also at the table is an older looking vampire and Tara! Sookie and Tara get all sorority girl, hugging like they haven’t seen each other since an orgy. Oh wait…

I guess Tara is dating a vampire now. Things must not have worked out with Eggs. Though, he did help kill a man and was most likely gay. Sookie immediately pulls her friend into the bathroom to warn her not to reveal anything about Bill or Bon Temps. She doesn’t want Russell or any of the other vampires figuring out who she is.

Turns out, Tara’s new boyfriend’s name is Franklin Mott. He is Italian. They met in Ruston where he owns a business. The group orders drinks and casually chat. Sookie learns that the bar is spellbound. Humans cannot find their way to it alone. She also discovers that any supes who bring dates into the bar are responsible for them. If a human runs out and tells the world about the bar and what happens there, their date is responsible for killing them. And if the date cannot succeed, they will be killed and a bounty hunter will be sent after the human. Dang. Supernatural bounty hunters. I wouldn’t want one of those on my trail. It would be like Dog, the actual dog bounty hunter.

The biker Weres are the bounty hunters in the area. Super. Talbot asks if Sookie saw the one that attacked her that night after they left. She says no, which wasn’t a lie necessarily. She didn’t see him that same night. Sookie tries an innocent act but Talbot is not buying it after watching her altercation the night before. Luckily, it’s Tara to the rescue. She starts talking about a dance they performed in the talent show in high school. A scandalous dance that, at the time, they didn’t know was scandalous. Then Tara gets all excited and wants to do it again. Sookie doesn’t really want to at first, but she finally agrees. So they get up and do their rendition of Love is a Battlefield. It involves a lot of hip shaking, grinding, and touching the floor stripper moves. All of the straight men in the bar enjoy the show.

Well, except Alcide apparently. Or maybe he did enjoy it, but when she gets back to the table he starts acting like a possessive jerk. Sookie’s words, not mine. I’m gonna chock that up to it being the full moon cause Alcide is awesome.

“Not looking for your boyfriend too hard, are you?” he said coldly, in a nasty undertone.

Alcide!!! IT MUST BE THE FULL MOON!!! But it was still an a-hole thing to say and Sookie gets a little teary. The other men at the table stare Alcide down, wanting to know what he said. They pretend to make up after he apologizes, but she is still super mad at him. Sookie spots Eric in the bar. He looks to have enjoyed the dance.

She decides to read some more minds and hears something unpleasant. Someone is thinking about being a martyr. About having a sharp pointy weapon and about being famous after he dies. Oh crap. Since she can’t just up and reveal that she can read minds (she doesn’t want Russell to figure out who she is) she gets up and heads to find the owner of the thoughts. This seems like a terrible idea. Why did she not take Alcide with her?

She finds two men, both with intentions to kill a vampire. Betty Joe from the looks of things. One of them looks familiar. It couldn’t be… no. She sees one of the men pull out his weapon and yells “Stake!” All of the vampires in the club go on high alert and Sookie does something incredibly stupid. She grabs a hold of the guy’s arm, the one he is holding the stake with, presumably to stop him from stabbing Betty Joe, who should be freaking paying attention at this point. Vampires are supposed to have lightening quick reflexes, right? She should be able to defend her own self.

But ever the trouble seeker, Sookie holds on to the dude for dear life. Then she realizes who the other man is. Steve Newlin. GASP! I knew it! Remember him? Fellowship leader who tried to kill Sookie. Yeah… So he makes a break for it whilst the other guy moves the stake into his other hand.

With a final punch to my back, Steve Newlin dashed for the exit, and I caught a flash of creatures bounding in pursuit. I heart lots of yowling and tweeting (Wait, tweeting? Picture this… Steve is running. Wolves are chasing him. Vampires have their phones out letting their followers know what is going down. LOL. Just kidding though. This book came out before smart phones and Twitter.) , and then the black-haired man threw back his left arm and plunged the stake into my waist on my right side.

Holy crap!! Does anyone remember when Buffy got staked that time? It seemed very painful. Also, I don’t even know what Sookie’s injury count is up to now. Anyway, Betty Joe snaps the dude’s neck and Sookie falls with him to the floor. While she is bleeding out (how in the hell does she live through 13 books anyway?), Tara is yelling for someone to call 911. But they can’t do that. Every shifter in the joint is now an animal. Sookie spots Eric and tells Tara and Franklin he will help her since he’s Alcide’s friend and all. Where is our favorite werewolf anyway?

Tara doesn’t seem to recognize Eric, which is good since he’s supposed to be in disguise and what not. Russell comes over, wanting to know who Eric is. He’s Leif, duh. Out of all the names in the world, I wonder how he came up with Leif. Not important. Sookie is dying…again. Since the vampires and shifters all want to eat Sookie, Russell suggests they get her out of there and take her to his house.

If Sookie was not near death, she would have laughed at this. She’s getting just what she wanted, just you know…not exactly how she wanted it. She goes in and out of consciousness while they travel to Russell’s. At some point during her awakeness, Eric tells her that Alcide changed and ran after Steve. This is a little bit reminiscent of what Bill did in the last book when the Fellowship shot up Stan’s place. It’s just in their nature to chase down people apparently.

So here’s what I don’t get. Why don’t they just give her blood to heal her like Bill did when the Rattrays beat her up that time? Instead they load her in a limo and head to Russ’ mansion. Eric tells the king that Sookie knew what was happening because she saw them pull the stake out, which was half true. They arrive and Eric carries her into the house. It is filled with hot gay men.

Russell was like the gay vampire Hugh Hefner, and this was the Playboy Mansion, with an emphasis on the “boy”. “Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink,” I said, and Eric laughed out loud. That was why I liked him, I thought rosily; he “got” me.

Hmmm…. Could this be a sign that a romance with a certain blonde Viking could be in the future? Her little saying also cues the doctor in that the medicine he apparently gave her is working. Sookie is appalled when she makes a Gone With the Wind reference as Eric is carrying her up the stairs and he doesn’t get it. Who hasn’t seen that movie? Eric. Also me. Well, I’ve seen most of it, but I can’t honestly say I’ve seen it all. And I’m from Georgia.

Sookie knows that Bill is around. I’m not quiet clear if that is because she can actually “feel” his presence or what. Eric stops her from saying too much out loud and we can all only hope that her being on drugs does not give them away.

When the frick are they gonna give her blood already? I feel like this is getting a bit ridiculous.

--------------------------------

In Chapter 10, sexy time.

Sookie is lying in a bed, surrounded by vampires. Russell has a plan to heal her. Well, that’s good to know because I was beginning to wonder if they were just taking her someplace nice to die. The plan, as Ray Don the vampire tells her, is for him to use his extra healing venom on her. Apparently, he has extra healing juices in his fangs or something.

Here’s a fact for you. Vampires release a coagulant substance that helps stop blood flow and heal wounds when they are done feeding. I guess I had never really thought about it before, but it makes sense. And not just in these books but in most vampire literature and movies. People who vampires feed on but do not kill usually don’t just keep bleeding crazy out of their neck. Hmm…

Anyway, Ray feeds on a willing dude and then goes to work on Sookie. When he pulls the stake out, the pain is too much so Eric tells her to just let go (of her consciousness I guess) and so she does.

The next thing I knew, I was awake. I was tucked in the bed, lying on my back, my formerly beautiful dress removed. I was still wearing my beige lace underwear, which was good. Eric was in the bed with me, which was not.

Well, that depends on how you look at it. I personally don’t think it’s such a bad thing. He’s got his arm all draped over her and he’s “resting.” As far as I can tell, this is when vampires take time to just be still. It helps them refresh or something. There’s a weird moment when she talks about how their hair is all swooshed together and is practically the same color. I just don’t dig long hair on dudes.

Sookie examines her wound, which still hurts but it’s all healed over. She thanks Eric for staying with her and stuff while he rubs on her stomach. He wants to know how grateful she is. Why do people insist on having sex with Sookie while she is recovering from injuries? Where is the consideration?

“That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that,” I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. “You shouldn’t want me to have sex with you just because I owe you.” “I don’t really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it,” he said, equally gently.

At least he’s honest. And then this happens:

His mouth was on mine then. Try as I might to stay detached, I wasn’t too successful. For one thing, Eric had had hundreds of years to practice his technique, and he’d used them to good advantage. I snuck my hands up to his shoulders, and I am ashamed to say I responded. As sore and tired as my body was, it wanted what it wanted, and my mind and will were running far behind. Eric seemed to have six hands, and they were everywhere, encouraging my body to have its way. A finger slid under the elastic of my (minimal) panties, and glided right into me. I made a noise, and it was not a noise of rejection. The finger began moving in a wonderful rhythm. Eric’s mouth seemed bent on sucking my tongue down his throat. My hands were enjoying the smooth skin and the muscles that worked underneath it.

The window flew open, and Bubba crawled in.

How anti-climactic. If you know what I mean. ;) Eric is unhappy, Sookie is at least a tad bit relieved. Bubba is proud of himself because he found them. He was not missing after all. He had followed Sookie to Jackson, since he was supposed to be looking out for her. He takes his job very seriously, looks like. Then he asks her why she’s in bed with Eric if she’s with Bill. (Cause Bill is lame!!) Sookie agrees that is a good question but Eric insists he was just going to give her blood to heal her.

Then blondie asks Bubba to go look for Bill. He tells him not to talk to anyone if he gets caught and not to try and rescue Bill. Bubba agrees and leaves the way he came in. Then Eric tells Sookie she really does need to take some of his blood. She’s still injured and she needs to be at full strength when they rescue Bill. All true. Sookie’s plan is to rescue Bill during the day while all the vampires are sleeping. Weres guard the mansion during the day, but since the full moon was tonight, they may all be too worn out to be effective guards. She tells Eric to go get her a car and leave it for her to escape in. Sookie decides she will drive Bill to Alcide’s building’s parking garage to stay until sun down. She also tells Eric that he better not sleep at the mansion because he will be suspect numero uno when they discover Bill is missing.

So everything is worked out. Except, now she must drink Eric’s blood. He pulls her back against his front on the bed, insisting she will be more comfortable this way. Yeah, right. Sookie starts to drink from his wrist, knowing this will give him more power over her, more insight into her feelings. It would also affect her; make her stronger, faster, more beautiful. But if she doesn’t take it, she might not be able to get Bill out by herself and she doesn’t want to involve Alcide anymore than they already have.

Eric moaned and I could tell quickly that he was once again pleased to be in such contact. He began to move a little, and there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. His left arm was keeping me firmly clamped against him, and his right arm was, after all, feeding me. It was still hard not to be icked out by the process.  But Eric was definitely having a good time, and since with every pull I felt better, it was hard to argue with myself that this was a bad thing to be doing. I tried not to think, and I tried not to move myself in response. I remembered the time I’d taken Bill’s blood because I needed extra strength, and I remembered Bill’s reaction. Eric pressed against me even harder, and suddenly he said, “Ohhhhh” and relaxed all over. I felt wetness against my back, and I took one deep, last draw.

Yeah, I think we all know what that is. She finds herself a bit turned on by the whole thing, but insists to herself that it is only because she was thinking about Bill. Whatever helps you sleep, Sook. When Eric starts fang grazing her, she jumps from the bed. Then, there is a vampire at the door, a small male one. He has clothes for her. They’re his clothes but are small enough that they will fit Sookie. Blue sweatpants and a silk robe. She runs off to the bathroom while the vamp makes flirty faces at Eric.

I was suddenly disgusted with myself. I’d had thoughts about Alcide, and more than had thoughts about Eric. I was not pleased with my moral fiber. It was no excuse that I knew Bill had been unfaithful to me, or at least it wasn’t much of an excuse. It was probably also not an excuse that being with Bill had accustomed me to regular, spectacular sex. Or not much of an excuse. It was time to pull my moral socks up and behave myself. Just deciding that made me feel better.

I like the fact that Sookie still feels guilty. (Yes, I know I kind of encouraged her behavior and yes, I’m not a fan of Bill, but still.) It’s human nature to feel guilty when you do something against your own morals: such as cheating. And since Sookie’s already gotten herself into morally challenging situations, and she has become more rough around the edges, it is nice to see her still at least trying to hold onto her moral fiber. I don’t want to see her turn into someone with few morals who doesn’t care about hurting people.

Bubba is back when Sookie returns. He has found Bill, who is in bad shape, but still alive. Sookie collapses out of…relief I guess. Bubba tells them that Bill is being kept in the building behind the mansion near the swimming pool. He’s in the old stables. Vampires with knives were in there whilst Bubba was scouting and Weres will take over in the morning. Eric says he and Bernard (the small vampire from before) will go get Sookie a car and park it near the stables. Edgington wants Sookie out at first light anyway, so having a car makes sense. The all part ways, Bubba going to find a place to sleep, Eric going after the car, and Sookie just going to bed.

Eric warns Sookie not to get carried away with herself. Since he is really old, his blood is more powerful than Bill’s.

I took a deep breath, trying to impress his warning on my brain. What I wanted to do was lean out the window and see if I could crawl up the wall to the roof. Wow, Eric’s blood was awesome.

So the older a vampire is, the stronger their blood is. Also, I imagine it will take longer to wear off.

Sookie wakes up when Eric returns with the car keys. He wishes her luck but before he leaves:

“I don’t like having feelings,” Eric said coldy, and he left.

Are we to assume he means feeling for Sookie? Yeah, I think so. I can’t decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

----------------------------------

In Chapter 11, operation rescue Bill comes to a head.

Sookie gets up early the next morning and gathers up her things. Her purse and new shawl made it. Also her shoes. Yay! She gets those items, puts on her slippers Bernard gave her (escaping in heels does not appeal to her), and grabs the blanket off of the bed to wrap Bill in. She wisely makes up the bed so maybe no one will notice the blanket is missing for a while. Since it’s raining outside, Sookie takes a jacket from the stair banister. (She feels guilty about it since she’s never stolen anything but tries not to think about it. It’s one of those things Alcide was talking about earlier. Don’t waste your guilt on something like this.)

She creeps downstairs and out through the kitchen without seeing anyone. She makes it outside behind the house and sees the building Bubba described, the one Bill is locked up in. She spots the Lincoln Eric left for her and goes to put her stuff inside. She unlocks the trunk and then grabs the blanket.

Wrapped in its folds was the stake that had hurt me so badly. It was the only weapon I had, and despite its grisly appearance (it was still stained with my blood and a little tissue), I had retrieved it from the wastebasket and brought it with me. After all, I knew for sure it could cause damage.

That was pretty smart thinking. Also, tissue? Ick.

She sneaks around to the garage/old stables/whatever it is now and puts her ear to the door. When she doesn’t hear anything with her suped-up hearing ability, she opens the door.

The floor was wooden, and covered with stains. The smell was awful. I knew immediately that Russell had used this room for torture before. Bill was in the center of the room, lashed to a straight-back chair by silver chains. After the confused emotions and unfamiliar surroundings of the past few days, I felt like the world suddenly came into focus. Everything was clear. Here was Bill. I would save him. And after I’d had a good look at him in the light of the naked bulb hanging from the ceiling, I knew I would do anything to save him. I had never imagined anything so bad.

There were burn marks under the silver chains, which was draped all around him. I knew that silver caused unremitting agony to a vampire, and my Bill was suffering that now. He had been burned with other things, and cut, cut more than he could heal. He had been starved, and he had been denied sleep. He was slumped over now, and I knew he was taking what respite he could while his tormenters were gone. His dark hair was matted with blood.

Okay, I have to admit I do feel sorry for Bill. Even though I don’t like him, he doesn’t deserve to be tortured. (Well, he might. I bet he’s done a lot of bad things, but so have all vampires so you know. Not since we’ve known him.)

Sookie looks off to the side and sees a small room with beds. There is a werewolf sleeping in there. Must. Be. Quiet. In the back of the room is stairs leading up to the apartments, presumably. Who knows if anyone is up there? As Sookie gets closer to Bill, he wakes up. He looks hopeful. She holds up a finger to silence anything he might say and goes to close the door to the room where the Were is. 

When she gets back to Bill, she realizes there is a padlock on the chains. With his one unbroken finger (only one? Eek.) he points to the key. It’s hanging too high for Sookie to reach so she has to use pincers she sees hanging on the wall. I wonder what the torturers use those for. Wait, no I don’t. She manages to get the key down without making any noise. I would have dropped the dang things for sure. But in my defense, Sookie had vampire blood helping her out.

She unwraps the chains, slowly, from around Bill. They are kinda stuck to him. Did I mention I feel bad for him? It takes her a little while and the whole time, Bill is trying not to scream. Finally, she gets them all off and tells Bill he has to stand, since she doesn’t think she can carry him. But then,

“Who the hell are you?” asked a heavily accented voice. Someone had come through the door at my back.

Oh crap. My first thought is the Were, but of course not.

I whirled to face her, dipping to pick up the stake as I did so, and then she was on me. I had talked myself into believing they were all in their coffins for the day, but this one was doing her best to kill me. I would have been dead in a minute if she hadn’t been as shocked as I was. I twisted my arm from her grasp and pivoted around Bill in his chair. Her fangs were all out, and she was snarling at me over Bill’s head. She was a blond, like me, but her eyes were brown and her build was smaller; she was a tiny woman. She had dried blood on her hands, and I knew it was Bill’s. A flame started up inside me. I could feel it flicker through my eyes.

Lorena. The vampire taunts Sookie, informing her that she’s been having sex with Bill and that he only felt sorry for Sookie now. Well, what a bitch. Then, in a slightly anti-climactic moment, Lorena pounces on Sookie who points her stake up and kills the vampire. Like in literally one paragraph. And I guess seeing Sookie get beat up again isn’t what I wanted, but there wasn’t even a good fight or lots of taunting. Just… she’s dead.

Bill doesn’t appear happy or sad about it. Sookie seems proud of herself for a minute and then sinks down to her knees and attempts not throwing up. This is a good reaction to the first time you kill someone. There’s that humanity I love to see popping up again. Unfortunately, her trying to calm herself is wasting time. She gets up and wraps the blanket around Bill. He confirms that was Lorena and she was the one torturing him. Sookie tries to be happy she killed the vamp.

Bill starts dozing off so Sookie hauls him to his feet. They shuffle slowly to the car. Luckily, the sun isn’t too intense since it’s conveniently raining. She tries to ease him into the trunk but he just kinda falls in (I can’t help it, this kinda made me LOL. Just seeing a vampire fall in a trunk asleep.) She pushes his feet in and shuts him up. Then, in a daring move, Sookie decides to go back and hide Lorena’s body. Even though it’s flaking away, it still might be discovered soon. She goes back into the blood stained room and hauls Lorena out over her shoulder and dumps her in the swimming pool. (The swimming pool is covered since it’s winter.) It’s also heavily raining during this scene so picture that. It makes it all more dramatic.

She gets back to the car unseen, presumably, and takes a deep breath or several before starting the car. She drives around the house and to the guard shack out front. Two Weres are in it. She explains who she is. Luckily, it seems Bernard informed them of her early departure. So after asking how she is and if she’s coming to the crucifixion later (Wait, what? Were they gonna publicly kill Bill?), they let her go.

She turns left, thinking that will lead her back to Jackson. Turns out, Sookie’s sense of direction is about as good as mine. She gets lost. LOL.

People making desperate escapes aren’t supposed to get lost.

Bless her heart. She pulls over and finds a map in the glove compartment but that’s not too helpful since she doesn’t know where she is. She makes it to as gas station and asks for directions back to Jackson.

I had rescued Bill, and I was alive, and tonight we would be on our way back to Bon Temps. Life would be wonderfully trouble-free. Except, of course, for dealing with my unfaithful boyfriend, finding out if the werewolf’s body we’d disposed of in Bon Temps had been found, waiting to hear the same about the werewolf who’d be stuffed in Alcide’s closet, and waiting for the reaction of the queen of Louisiana to Bill’s indiscretion with Lorena. His verbal indiscretion. I didn’t think for one minute that she would care about his sexual activities. Other than that, we were hunky-dory.

No big deal. Just a few minor things to worry about. And what do you mean the body WE disposed of in Bon Temps? I seem to recall you driving off and leaving Sam and Bubba with the task.

“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,” I told myself. That had been Gran’s favorite Bible quotation. When I was about nine, I’d asked her to explain that to me, and she’d said, “Don’t go looking for trouble, it’s already looking for you.”

Good advice, I’d say. She makes it back to Alcide’s apartment building.

Now, I thought, all my troubles will be over. Isn’t it dumb to think that? Ever?

For you, yes.

The guard is not at his post at first, but then he runs up. He agrees to give Sookie a parking sticker if she doesn’t tell anyone he was away. She parks in the very back of the parking garage, and then falls asleep in the car. When she wakes up, it is cold and she’s knows she has been asleep for a while. Unwisely, she decides to check on Bill. I think I would have gone upstairs to look for Alcide first.

Maybe I should check on Bill. He had gotten rolled around in the trunk, I was sure, and I needed to make sure he was covered. Actually, I just wanted to see him again. My heart actually beat faster at the thought. I was a real idiot.

No comment.

So she opens the trunk, looks in, leans over and then gets pushed the rest of the way in. The trunk lid slams, locking her and Bill both inside. I bet it was freaking Debbie. Also, this cannot be good.

But she did tell Eric where she was gonna go. Just… she has to wait until dark. How long can someone breathe in a trunk?

--------------------------------

In Chapter 12, Sookie’s trapped in a trunk, and she can’t get out. So she’s gonna pull out her gun… just kidding, she doesn’t have a gun.

Sookie assumes as I do. It was Debbie. Stupid Debbie. Sookie does her best to keep her breathing calm and not panic. Luckily, Bill doesn’t breathe so he won’t take up any air. She figures it’s about one, which means several hours until Bill wakes up. Though really, she better hope someone rescues her before Bill wakes up because you know he ain’t been eating lately.

And he hadn’t had any blood in a week. As that thought passed through my mind, I suddenly felt cold. Bill would be hungry. Crazy hungry. And here I was--fast food.

Crap.

She doesn’t know if he’ll recognize her, or care even if he does. He is a dirty cheater after all. Though, she can’t really throw stones, now can she? How many dudes has she made out with and almost had sex with lately? But after 25 years of not being able to do such things, she’s just playing catch-up.

Sookie attempts to find a latch on the inside of the trunk that will open it, but soon finds that the wires have been cut. She thinks back on the contents of the trunk: baggies, white powder. Eric has brought her a drug dealer’s car. I imagine the latch was cut for a reason. Don’t mess with drug dealers. She drifts into kind of a trance, not quite sleep, in the coldness of the trunk for a while. Then, Bill wakes up.

She tries to talk to him, tell him about the bottled blood but

He struck. In his hunger, he made no attempt to spare me anything, and it hurt like the six shades of hell. “Bill, it’s me,” I said, starting to cry. “Bill, it’s me. Don’t do this, honey. Bill, it’s Sookie. There’s TrueBlood in here.”

But he didn’t stop. I kept talking, and he kept sucking, and I was becoming even colder, and very weak.

She pinches his ear as hard as she can and he finally stops. But

He had stopped taking blood. Now another need was on him, one closely related to feeding. His hands pulled down my sweatpants, and after a lot of fumbling and rearranging and contorting, he entered me with no preparation at all. I screamed, and he clapped a hand over my mouth. I was crying, sobbing, and my nose was all stopped up, and I needed to breathe through my mouth. All restraint left me and I began fighting like a wildcat. I bit and scratched and kicked, not caring about the air supply, not caring that I would enrage him. I just had to have air. After a few seconds, his hand fell away. And he stopped moving. I drew air in with a deep, shuddering gasp. I was crying in earnest, one sob after another.

I get that he’s been starved and all. But this still makes me mad. Like, learn to control yourself. If this is how vampires act when they don’t feed, then I just don’t know that I’d want to be around them. You should never have to be afraid of the person you’re with.

Bill finally seems to recognize her, but the damage has been done. He keeps asking her questions but she can’t answer. Probably because she has LITTLE BLOOD AND NO AIR!!! Then, to make me more mad, Sookie feels bad for not being alright. He just tried to kill you, no big. To his credit, he seems ashamed he forced her to have sex with him after taking way too much of her blood.

He figures out they are in a trunk and punches his fist through the top, letting in air. Apparently, when you drink all of someone’s blood you get your strength back. Well, good for you Bill. Then he asks more questions. Just shut the fudge up and get out of the trunk, you moron! Obviously, she can’t talk to you right now. All she can do is mumble about Jackson and Alcide and bottled blood.

So while Sookie passes out from blood loss, Bill takes the time to drink some synthetic stuff. Eric arrives finally and lets them out of the trunk.

When Sookie regains consciousness, she is lying in a bed.

“She really is,” he was saying next, and my eyes flickered open to register three anxious faces hovering above me: Eric’s, Alcide’s, and Bill’s. Somehow, the sight made me want to laugh. So many men at home were scare of me, or didn’t want to think about me, and here were the three men in the world who wanted to have sex with me, or who at least had thought about it seriously; all crowding around the bed.

They are not the only three men in the world. WHAT ABOUT SAM? He desires you, too! Ugh. I miss Sam.

Grossly enough, they have been feeding her synthetic blood. But I suppose they didn’t have any human blood handy. She has needed one too many transfusions. The first thing she wants to talk about is what the guards said about the crucifixion. As it were, Bill was not the star of that show. Sookie believes it is Bubba. Bill decides he and Eric should go back in and save him. Alcide wisely chooses not to go with them. He’s probably in enough trouble as it is. Also, he spent part of the night with Debbie, which is unrelated but also stupid.

Sookie confesses she killed Lorena. Eric and Alcide seem impressed, Bill seems blank. Then Eric has a really dumb idea. He wants Sookie to go back to save Bubba. She has the best chance of getting in if they haven’t figured out she stole Bill…or something. That is a terrible idea. Do not do that. Can they not leave the girl alone for five minutes? She’s almost died twice in two days.

Alcide keeps thinking about Debbie and Sookie tells him the shifter is the one who pushed her into the trunk with Bill. Alcide skulks out. Do not call Debbie!! 

As they discuss calling a truce with Russell, Sookie suggests they just make a phone call, which also seems like a weird plan, but Eric seems to like it. Whatever. Sookie calls up the mansion and talks to Betty Joe. She informs the vamp that Bubba is really Elvis and oddly enough, Betty Joe believes her. They decide not to crucify him after all, but ask him to sing instead. Also, they want to keep him. Eric is okay with that.

What is even more strange, is that Betty Joe makes no mention of Bill or Lorena. Sookie guesses that maybe she thinks Bubba freed Bill or something. Which cannot be legit because if the Weres at the gate already knew about the crucifixion then they had caught Bubba before Bill was missing. Though, maybe Russell and Betty Joe weren’t checking up on him every night so wouldn’t know he wasn’t missing yet. Surely, they would have checked after catching an intruder? I can’t imagine this will be the end of it, but there’s still a few chapters left to go.

My life was spinning out of control. In the space of two days I’d hidden one corpse and created another one. And all because I’d fallen in love with a vampire. I gave Bill an unloving glance.

You don’t need him, Sookie!

The phone rings and then Alcide shews them out of the apartment. Bill totes Sookie next door to the empty apartment. What is going on? Then more ugh!

To tell the truth, it felt great to be held by him, no matter how angry I had been at him, no matter how many issues we had to settle. To tell the truth, I had a dismayingly wonderful sense of homecoming. To tell the truth, no matter how battered my body was-and battered at his hand, or rather, his fangs--that body could hardly wait to meet up with his body again, buck naked, despite the terrible incident in the trunk. I sighed. I was disappointed in myself.

You’re kind of disappointing me, too. I don’t like this.

Bill lays her on the floor while he and Eric snoop on Alcide. Debbie is at the apartment yelling at Alcide. She had gone to see Janice, who obviously prefers Sookie. Eric relays all of this information. Then Eric looks all shocked and Bill looks all tense. Bill asks Eric to leave and he does.

He lies beside Sookie on the floor and puts his arm around her. Just keep your hands to yourself, Bill. He informs her that Alcide told Debbie Sookie was awesome in bed. This makes Sookie angry.

“I never did,” I whispered furiously. “But even if I had, you know what? It would serve you right, you betraying son of a bitch.”

Yes! Let him have it! And man, she does.

She yells at him about leaving her for Lorena and then starts trying to attack him. She grabs him as much around his neck as she can (guess he has a big neck) and claws at him for a minute. Too bad the vampire blood in her wasn’t enough to really do some damage. After she calms down, Bill pulls her into his lap.

We lay there in silence for what seemed like a long time, though maybe it was only minutes. My body nestled into his out of habit and out of a deep need; though I didn’t know if the need was for Bill specifically, or the intimacy I’d only shared with him. I hated him. I loved him.

Then they talk. She tells him about going to the club, about getting staked. So many people are dead, she tells him, because of his program. Which I still know nothing about! Well, now Bill tells us.

Apparently he decided to make a database of vampires. He started his own research project, finding out names and getting photos of like every vampire in America. Or at least 80% of them. When the queen found out what he was doing, she offered him money for it. (Though, she would have taken it either way, I’m sure.) Some vampires have helped him with it, but of course there are those who do not want anyone to know anything about them. Also, there are those who would kill to have such a thing. It’s like a directory. Want to find a vampire? Here you go.

So I guess Russell wanted this? Or just wanted to know what he was doing? Still not sure why he was kidnapped, but whatever.

Sookie hears Alcide and Debbie fighting again and thinks on how bad they are for each other.

Of course they should separate. They should never be in the same room again. And I had to take this to heart. Look at me. Mangled, drained, staked, battered. Lying in a cold apartment in a strange city with a vampire who had betrayed me. A big decision was standing right in front of my face, waiting to be recognized and enacted. I shoved Bill away, and wobbled to my feet.

She asks Eric to take her home and Bill doesn’t follow them.

So are they officially over or what? Don’t play with my emotions like this, Charlaine!

----------------------------

In Chapter 13, are you serious?

Sookie and Eric get in the car and head back to Louisiana. He accuses her of running away every time her and Bill have a fight and she lets him have it.

“Firstly, Eric, what happens between Bill and me is just none of your damn business.” I let that sink in for a few seconds. “Second, my relationship with Bill is the only one I’ve ever had, so I’ve never had any idea what I’m going to do even from day to day, much less establishing a policy.”

“Third, I’m through with you all. I’m tired of seeing all this sick stuff. I’m tired of having to be brave, and having to do things that scare me, and having to hang out with the bizarre and the supernatural. I am just a regular person, and I just want to date regular people. Or at least people who are breathing.”

You know who breathes? Sam and Alcide.

Eric believes her since he knows her feelings. He tells her she can’t be with a human, which she knows already.

“But I’d be happier with no one than I am now.”

I am one of those women who don’t think I need a man to be happy. That’s not to say that I wanna be alone, but if a guy is making me miserable, I’d rather be alone than with him. I like that Sookie is making this decision and I hope she sticks to it. She weighs the pros and cons of Bill, but can’t decide which is greater.

Closer to home, Eric pulls over at a gas station to fill the car up. Sookie heads inside to pee. She checks herself out in the mirror and looks like hell, of course. Bless her heart, man.

The mangled bite mark on my neck looked really disgusting, as though a dog had had hold of me.

She cleans up a little and when she comes out of the restroom, there are two men robbing the store. You have got to be kidding me. The clerk seems pissed since he’s been robbed like four times recently. But these are not just any robbers. They are looking for a blonde woman and a tall blonde man. Seriously? Where is Eric anyway? Sookie also wonders this, thinking maybe he left her. She decides to sneak out and soon realizes the store clerk is trying to distract the thugs so she can.

She gets outside and goes to the boy’s car. He had been thinking about a rifle that he keeps under his car seat. She grabs it and goes in search of Eric. She finds silver nets in the men’s truck and wonders if they used one on him. She sees a pocket knife in their car and uses it to poke a hole in their tires. Good thinking. She pockets the knife (punny) and goes back to the Lincoln. She sees that the men are beating the sales clerk and decides she must save him. He did help her escape, after all. Eric comes up behind her. They had thrown the net on him but not well, so he escaped it. She convinces him to go in a save the boy.

She carries the gun in and blasts a hole in the ceiling of the place. This gets their attention. They let the clerk go and he calls the police. Eric compels the robbers to tell him why they were looking for Sookie. The Hounds of Hell motorcycle gang (you know the one whose leader is lying in the woods in Mississippi somewhere) sent them. They had someone at every gas station close to Bon Temps, waiting for a tall blonde man, a dark haired man, and a blonde woman with big boobs. Eric punches the one dude in the face.

“You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful.”

LOL. Eric. Overly confident much?

The gang members believe Sookie and Eric know something about what happened to Jerry and want to talk with them. The Jackson vamps know nothing of this plan. The Weres were trying to deal with their own problem. Also they’re in hot water since they let a prisoner escape. Eric compels them to forget ever seeing him and Sookie and they leave before the police arrive. He explains in the car about how the men threw the net over him and bashed him on the head with something to disorient him. How do humans keep getting the upper hand on vampires? Aren’t they supposed to have super fast reflexes and senses superior enough to know someone is coming at them? Anyway…

Eric does not like the idea of Sookie saving him and the clerk. This makes her mad. I can only assume it is because she thinks he doesn’t want a woman saving him. A human woman. He also asks why she doesn’t fix her driveway. They have arrived back at her house by this point and she jumps out of the car and tells him off…again. A lot of telling people off recently. Good for her.

“Because I can’t afford it, that’s why! I don’t have any money! And you all keep asking me to take time off from my job to do stuff for you! I can’t! I can’t do it anymore! I shrieked. “I quit!”

Bam! So there!

Eric starts to say something about Bill and I guess Sookie thinks it is about how he has money so she goes into another rant about how Bill spends all of his money on the Bellefleurs. And she adds in how she’s mad Eric called her his lover. He informs her she could have sold Bill’s computer program for money. He just doesn’t get it, bless his heart.

But by now Sookie has realized there is someone in her house. Super.

Ignoring what my brain was telling me, ignoring the beginning of a bellow from Eric, I opened the front door and got hit with a ton of bricks.

Like literally a ton of bricks? No really. I can see that happening.

--------------------------------

In Chapter 14, Sookie is the unluckiest person ever.

She was not hit with bricks, just a fist. But still, ow. There are five men in her house, one of which is a Were. She hears them say that they shot Eric but he got away. They demand to know where someone is and then hit on her some more. She fights back against them and then falls on her face. But they knee her in the stomach and hit her face.

Before they can cause even more damage, Eric and Bill bust through the door and kill them all. She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see it. When the massacre is over, Eric and Bill first think Sookie is unconscious again and contemplate taking her to the hospital. Eric makes a comment about Sookie’s blood being different. This has been mentioned several times and I’m starting to wonder if there is a reason for this, other than her telepathy. (Spoiler-there is.)

They get Sookie a drink and Eric explains about Jerry Falcon. When Bill uses the words “My Sookie” Eric informs him that may not be true anymore. Bill insists Sookie is his and she gives him the bird. Go, Sookie!

They continue talking about her like she’s not in the room. They discuss about Alcide and Debbie. Bill acts all mad that Alcide likes Sookie. Well, get over it, you cheating scumbag! Sookie speaks up, tired of them acting like she isn’t there, and asks Bill how he got home. Apparently, he called Russell and made a deal with him. The king was the most upset with Lorena for letting Bill escape. He agreed to leave Bill alone if he would tell how he escaped and put a bid in for Bill’s program. Why could he not have just done that to begin with? It would have saved Sookie a lot of injuries.

The Weres had found Sookie’s house after she had used her real name at Club Dead. They used the internet to track her down. She really needs an alias.

Sookie falls asleep on the boys and when she wakes up the next morning, her living room is cleaned. The only thing missing is the area rug.

It had been no wonderful heirloom anyway, just a sort of pretty rug Gran had picked up at a flea market for thirty-five dollars. Why did I remember that? It didn’t matter at all. And my grandmother was dead.

Depression. Sookie theorizes that she has grown a thicker skin since knowing Bill. Well, you would just about have to. She decides she’s not angry at Bill, since he was tortured. But when she thinks about killing Lorena, she suddenly feels very sick and throws up. What really bothers her is how much pleasure she had gotten from it at the time.

A couple of hours later, I’d discovered it was the early afternoon, and it was Monday.

Wait, hold up. Last night when they were driving by the bar, she noted how it was still open. I thought the bar was closed on Sunday. Not really that important but still. So anyway, Jason shows up. Sam had told him Sookie went off with Alcide, who Jason has heard of and kind of aspires to be. She lies to him about the missing rug and is then shocked when he asks about her new gravel. She looks out the window and sees that her whole driveway has been re-graveled. There is a note on the front door from the workers. The gravel has been paid for. By Eric. She recalls yelling at him about her driveway the night before. He works fast.

Alcide stops by later with Sookie’s suitcase and stuff she left at his place. He wants to know what happened to her and she tells him. Then he informs her that Debbie asked him to kill her (Sookie). He told her to eff off. He’s attempting to quit her cold turkey. Alcide apologizes for telling Debbie that he and Sookie slept together and for throwing them out of the apartment when she came over the day before. He was afraid that Debbie would have told the wrong people about his relationship with vampires and they might figure out he was involved in the escape of Russell’s prisoner.

I was beginning to believe that Alcide, despite his stated conviction that he was determined to keep the Were gene to himself, would never be happy with anyone but another Were.

Hmm. I wonder if this is true. So much for their happily ever after. Sigh. But, there’s still Sam! Just saying.

Once again they try to determine who killed Jerry and put him in Alcide’s closet. Wasn’t Bill, wasn’t Eric, maybe Debbie? But no, now Alcide does not seem to think Debbie had anything to do with it. He doesn’t think she could ever kill someone. (Which makes Sookie sad a little since you know, she did kill someone.) Alcide also doesn’t think that another Were killed him since he wasn’t all… you know, torn to shreds. So once again they draw a big blank. He goes to leave and then:

“I’m glad I met you,” he said. He was closer to me than I’d thought, and he gave me a peck on the lips in farewell. But after the peck, which was okay, he returned for a longer good-bye. His lips felt so warm; and after a second, his tongue felt even warmer. His head turned slightly to get a better angle, and then he went at it again. His right hand hovered above me, trying to find a place to settle that wouldn’t hurt me. Finally he covered my left hand with his. Oh boy, this was good. But only my mouth and my lower pelvis were happy. The rest of me hurt.

Again, why do all the men always want to have sex with Sookie right after she has been beaten up or drained of all of her blood? He leaves his number and gets hers and then leaves. Later on, Arlene comes over and makes her some soup. After dark, Pam arrives. Eric sent her in case Sookie needed a female’s help. Pam isn’t happy about coming, but does want Sookie to teach her how to use a shotgun. Then she wants to talk about Lorena. She says that if Sookie hadn’t killed her, Lorena would have killed Sookie and tortured Bill some more and probably killed him, too. Good point.

Pam informs her that Eric and Bill are coming over so she heads to the bathroom to clean up a little. But the next vampire to arrive is Bubba. He’s sorry that he didn’t stay with Sookie the night before like he was supposed to. Since he had been following her the whole time, Sookie gets a stroke of smarts. She asks him about the night the body was left at Alcide’s. Bubba followed Sookie and Alcide back to the wolf’s apartment and saw Jerry breaking in after they had gone to bed. So Bubba killed him, thinking he meant to hurt Sookie (which he most likely did) and then put his body in the closet because he didn’t know what else to do with it.

Mystery solved. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. Well, maybe because how did Bubba get into that apartment? I thought Alcide had to invite Eric in. I’m still confused. Maybe he just invited him in out of courtesy not because he had to. But he rescinded his invite! Who the hell knows? So Bubba killed both of the Weres. Oh well. I guess that pretty much wraps up everything, right? Bill’s free, Edginton’s satisfied, we know who killed the Were… but there’s one more chapter left so I just hope Sookie doesn’t get injured in it.

-----------------------------

In Chapter 15, hahahahahaha.

All four vampires decide to hang out at Sookie’s. Bill starts brushing Sookie’s hair in some kind of male territorial thing. She lets him. I wouldn’t.

Eric observed this with the air of one taking notes, and Pam sneered openly.

Bill seems to be hoping this will bring back good memories so that Sookie will forgive him. I hope she doesn’t take him back. Bubba doesn’t stay long and when he leaves, Sookie tells the others that he is the one who killed Jerry. Eric isn’t too upset by this. Or not at all. He does find it amusing that Bubba took his orders so seriously. Sookie mentions that she wishes she knew Bubba was the perpetrator when Alcide was over earlier in the day.

Eric and Bill are bothered by this and Pam thinks it is amusing. She adds to the fun by telling Sookie that she unpacked her suitcase and wants to know where she got the nice shawl. Sookie tells her it was from Alcide and Pam compliments his taste. It’s official. I like Pam.

The female vamp decides to leave, insisting she will run back to Shreveport and enjoy the outdoors. Before she leaves, she tells Bill the queen called for him and wants to know where her program is.

“You nearly lost everything,” Eric said, his sudden outburst startling everyone in the room.

Oh snap.

“Yes, I’m well aware of that,” Bill said.

“You were a fool to take up with the she-demon again,” Eric said.

Sookie, who is tired and doesn’t want to hear their fight, rescinds both of their invitations to her house.

I sat on the ottoman, feeling relief beyond words at the sudden silence. And all of the sudden, I realized that the computer program so desired by the queen of Louisiana, the computer program that had cost lives and the ruin of my relationship with Bill, was in my house…which not Eric, or Bill, or even the queen, could enter without my say-so. I hadn’t laughed so hard in weeks.

Like I said, hahahahahaha.

Book three complete. So now we have another man in the race for Sookie’s heart. And I’m not sure that Alcide and Sookie will get the happily ever after that they talked about, but that might be alright if they did. But, like she said, he may only be happy with a werewolf. I do so hope her and Bill are over and I have a feeling that she won’t be able to resist Eric’s charms forever. Ten books left to find all of this out.

Club Dead was a pretty good book for me. Not a lot of Bill. I like Alcide. Eric is continuing to grow on me. My only complaint is not enough Sam. I miss him. L

Until the next book.