Mallory Reads 'Living Dead in Dallas'

I made it past book 1! Yay me! 1/13 of the way there, 11 weeks to go.

In the first chapter of Living Dead in Dallas, Sookie is working. (You may notice Sookie begins a lot of books at work.) I’m not sure how long after the first book this one takes place, but it is getting close to fall time. Sookie talks about how the weather is getting colder and the leaves are starting to change. She is looking forward to fall and winter because of the longer nights. More time to spend with her sweetie bear.

Andy Bellefleur is in the bar, drinking. Sookie reads in his mind that he had a rough case that day involving a little girl. Since he almost never gets drunks, Sookie takes pity on him. She takes his keys and calls his sister, Portia, to come pick him up.

Bill arrives at the bar. He’s greeted by Charlsie’s husband, Micah. Wait, I thought Charlsie’s husband’s name was Ralph. Maybe Micah is his middle name. Anyways, it seems people are becoming more accepting of Bill.

He leaned across the bar to give me a kiss. His lips were as cool as his voice. You had to get used to it. Like when you laid your head on his chest, and you didn’t hear a heartbeat inside.

I assume that would take some getting used to. I’m beginning to notice Bill is always described as cold.

Sookie asks Bill how his meeting in Shreveport went and he says he will tell her later. I’m guessing this meeting has something to do with his new enforcer position. Portia arrives to take Andy home and Sookie tells her that Bill can help her get the detective to the car. Portia doesn’t seem too crazy about this idea, but since Sam is not at the bar, she reluctantly agrees to let Bill help. Guess not everyone has warmed up to Bill. (Punny)

The next morning, Sookie arrives at work early and sees that Andy’s car is still in the parking lot. When she passes, she notices that the side door is open. She, being the good citizen that she is, gets out to go close it. But it won’t close. Because… a dead man’s foot is in the way.

“Oh, man,” I whispered. “Oh, shit.” Lafayette, the cook for one shift at Merlotte’s, had been shoved into the backseat. He was naked.

Not the gay black dude! This must be some kind of hate crime!

I backed away hastily, then scrambled into my car and drove around back behind the bar, blowing my horn. Sam came running out of the employee door, an apron tied around his waist. I turned off my car and was out of it so quick I hardly realized I’d done it, and I wrapped myself around Sam like a static-filled sock. “What is it?” Sam’s voice said in my ear. I leaned back to look at him, not having to gaze up too much since Sam is a smallish man. His reddish gold hair was gleaming in the morning sun. He has true-blue eyes, and they were wide with apprehension. “It’s Lafayette,” I said, and began crying. That was ridiculous and silly and no help at all, but I couldn’t help it. “He’s dead, in Andy Bellefleur’s car.”

More Sam! Sorry, Bill lovers. I’m preferring the 5’7, blue eyed, not-quite-a-ginger man.

Digression….

So they call the police and the two other morning shift waitresses arrive- Danielle Gray and Holly Cleary. These two are described as divorced twenty-something BFFs with small kids. Holly has short blonde hair, Danielle has freckles. Sookie and Sam tell the two what’s going down, but they decide to get the bar ready, in case the police let them open it. Though, they don’t have a cook. It seems a bit insensitive, given Lafayette’s body is in the parking lot still, but a closed business doesn’t pay the bills, I guess.

Bud Dearborn arrives with Alcee Beck, the only black detective on the force. (This is pointed out in the book, not just by me, btw.) Bud and Alcee take Sookie into Sam’s office to question her about what she saw that morning. She tells them she hadn’t seen Lafayette in a few days (before that morning) and that the other cook, Anthony Bolivar, had been working the night before. Anthony Bolivar the vampire. The detectives are not totally open-minded about gay Lafayette or vampire Anthony. But Sookie proceeds to tell them Lafayette had been bragging about taking part in some sex hijinks party.

After the interview, she and Sam discuss the situation. Sam isn’t convinced the party Lafayette talked about was legit.

“You think Lafayette made it up?” “I don’t think there are too many biracial, bisexual parties in Bon Temps,” he said. “But that’s just because no one invited you to one,” I said pointedly. I wondered if I really knew at all what went on in our little town. Of all the people in Bon Temps, I should be the one to know the ins and the outs, since all that information was more or less readily available to me, if I chose to dig for it. “At least, I assume that’s the case?” “That’s the case,” Sam said, smiling at me a little as he dusted a bottle of whisky. “I guess my invitation got lost in the mail, too.”

COL. (Chuckle out loud.) They theorize as to why Lafayette may have come back to the bar the night before. For his paycheck? To talk more about the orgy party? One thing they agree on, Lafayette was not one for keeping secrets.

 --------------------------------

In Chapter 2, pigs are scary.

Sookie is still at the bar, which re-opened at 4:30 that afternoon. They’d spent the morning cleaning out Sam’s office and playing cards. Terry Bellefleur comes in to cook for the evening and tells Sookie what his cousin said about Lafayette.

“Andy says it looks like his neck was broken. And there was some, ah, evidence that he’d been…messed with.”

Maybe Sookie and Sam were right. Maybe this does have something to do with the orgy. Terry’s opinion of Sookie comes out when Bill is mentioned.

“You, on the other hand, are a sweet little éclair on the outside and a pit bull on the inside.”

It’s true; Sookie does have a temper underneath all that charitableness. After her shift, Sookie goes home to change for her and Bill’s trip to Fangtasia. She has been summoned by Eric for some reason. (I told her it was a bad idea to make deals with vampires.)

Bill pops up while she’s showering (doesn’t join her btw) and we get another description of the vampire.

He has high arched brows 

and a high-bridged nose.  

His mouth is the kind you see on Greek statues, at least the ones I’ve seen in pictures.

She then explains that since Bill is Area 5 Investigator now, he has to do what Eric says, but Eric has to protect him. If danger befalls Bill or his “possessions” (Sookie) then Eric must help protect them.

Here we go with the wardrobe again. Bill wants Sookie to wear her blue jeans that lace up the side. We do have to bear in mind that these books were written in the early 2000’s when this was still a cool thing to wear. I guess I should also take back some of my comments from the last book about Sookie’s flower dress. Maybe that was fashionable then, too.

Once they are on the way to Shreveport, Bill informs Sookie that he started himself a business. Before now, Sookie was unaware of how Bill acquired his money. Some vampires just compel humans to give the some. She explains that the government had decided to finally give vampires citizenship because then they could tax them. Seems legit. So Bill’s business is a strip mall. (Like a strip of land, not a mall where people take their clothes off.) There are three business on the property: LaLaurie’s (restaurant), Tara’s Togs (clothing store), and a hair salon. Bill owns the land, the store owners pay him rent.

Bill should have stopped there. He tells Sookie that since she’s his woman and all, she can get free stuff from all of the places. This rubs Sookie the wrong way.

“So, in other words,” I said, proud of the evenness in my voice, “they know to indulge the boss’s fancy woman.”

I like that she gets angry here. Rich people annoy me and men who think they can just buy a woman anything and everything just irritate the junk out of me. It’s nice to get a little something every now and then, but I don’t want to feel bought. Maybe that’s a Southern woman thing.

Bill’s car takes that opportunity to break down. Sookie, in her burst of anger, jumps out of the car before Bill can stop her. This might be taking the whole thing to an extreme. I don’t think I would overreact that much. He demands she get back in the car but she just flips him off and stalks into the woods. Instead of forcing her back into the car, as he most certainly could have, he decides to leave her alone instead to go get help. Stubbornness all around.

Sookie goes back to the road, but instead of getting back in the car (which would have been the smart thing to do) she starts walking back toward home. She doesn’t get far when she hears a noise in the woods.

A woman stepped out of the woods. With her was a razorback, a feral hog. Its tusks gleamed from the shadows. In her left hand she carried a sort of stick or wand, with a tuft of something on its end. “Great,” I whispered to myself. “Just great.” The woman was as scary as the razorback. I was sure she wasn’t a vampire, because I could feel the activity in her mind; but she was sure some supernatural being, so she didn’t send a clear signal.

She had long snarled hair, an indeterminate dark in the uncertain light, and she was wearing almost nothing. She had a kind of shift on, but it was short and ragged and stained. She was barefoot.

Sookie realizes that Bill’s car stopping was not an accident, nor was their fight most likely. The mysterious woman reveals that she is a maenad.

That was something Greek. I didn’t know exactly what, but it was wild, female, and lived in nature, if my impressions were correct.

Sookie asks creepy lady what she’s doing out in the woods.

“I need a message taken to Eric Northman,” she said, moving closer. This time I could see her do it. The hog snuffled along at her side as if she were tied to the woman. The smell was indescribable. I could see the little brushy tail of the razorback-it was switching back and forth in a brisk, impatient sort of way.

“What’s the message?” I glanced up at her-and whirled to run as quickly as I could. If I hadn’t ingested some vampire blood at the beginning of the summer, I couldn’t have turned in time, and I would’ve taken the blow on my face and chest instead of my back. It felt exactly as though someone very strong had swung a heavy rake and the points had caught in my skin, gone deeper, and torn their way across my back.

Sookie manages to make it to the road, crawling. After slashing Sookie’s back, the maenad disappeared. Bill finally gets back and spots her at the edge of the woods. She tells him they need to get to Eric. After the longest ride of Sookie’s life, they make it to Fangtasia. Bill is angry with Eric; Sookie’s injuries were a message to him, after all. But the older vampire ignores him and helps get Sookie on the couch. Bill wonders why she’s in so much pain when the cuts aren’t very deep on her back.

Sookie tells Eric about the woman and the pig. Eric seems shocked by this. Well, that can’t be good. He wants to know what she looked like. I take it Eric has met a maenad before.

Pam arrives with the doctor, a dwarf, who reveals that Sookie has been poisoned. She explains that Sookie’s bloodstream has been compromised and therefore they need to do a blood transfusion. A vampire transfusion. The vampires will have to drink all of her blood and then the doctor will give her new blood. Seems risky. The poison in the blood would harm just one vampire if they took it all, so all three of them must help.

Sookie demands they replace her blood with human blood. She doesn’t want any more vampire blood changing her. Eric sends Pam after the blood while the doctor starts licking Sookie’s back. Umm…okay?

Then, LOL.

“By the way, I haven’t heard an ‘I’m sorry’ from you yet.” My sense of grievance had overwhelmed my sense of self-preservation. “I am sorry that the maenad picked on you.” I glared at him. “Not enough,” I said. I was trying hard to hang on to this conversation. “Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me.” “That’s more like it.”

Oh, Eric. I already like you more than Bill.

Sookie asks Eric if the maenad means to start war with him and he kind of evades the question. But before anything else can be said about it, Sookie starts turning an unnatural color and the vamps must begin the transfusion.
------------------

In Chapter 3, kisses and travel plans.

Sookie wakes up and finds Pam being all Edward Cullen watching her sleep. (Just kidding, Pam is way better than Edward!) The doctor’s odd treatment methods worked.

“Yes, it would have been a pity to lose you before we’d gotten a chance to get some good out of you,” she said with shocking practicality.

Oh, Pam, you warm my heart. Apparently Pam, Eric, Bill, and Chow (the new bartender) took turns draining her and then transfused her some new blood. Sookie realizes upon sitting up that she doesn’t have anything on from the waist up. Pam informs her that the shirt was in the way and the vamps had to hold her on their laps while feeding. I think she threw in that last part to make Sookie uncomfortable. And it worked.

Pam gets an extra shirt of Eric’s for Sookie to put on and directs her to a shower. When she emerges, she finds Pam has also left her some underwear to put on. Tiny and lacy underwear. Unable to put anything else on, Sookie goes back into the office in the shirt and panties. Since Eric is really tall, his shirt comes down far enough to cover important areas, but she still feels self conscious around the vampires.

Sookie gets a brush to comb out her hair. Then total lameness occurs when Bill comes back into the room.

“Let me do that, darling,” he said tenderly.

I think I said this before, but people calling each other darling is just annoying to me. Sorry if any of you people do that, but I feel like it sounds fake whenever anyone says it. They discuss the maenad. Bill thinks it stopped them simply because he was the first vampire to cross its path. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Bill does not think the creature caused their fight. Then Chow:

He was the first Asian vampire I’d seen, and he was extremely handsome. He was also covered-at least the parts I could see-with that intricate tattooing that I’d heard members of the Yakuza favored. Whether Chow had been a gangster when he was human or not, he was certainly sinister now.

He sounds bad-A. All of the vampires, much to the dismay of Bill, seem to have enjoyed Sookie’s blood. Eric reveals the reason he originally invited Sookie and Bill to the bar. He wants her to go to Texas, Area 6 in vampire land, to assist the vamps there. She insists that Bill go with her. Eric agrees to this. He doesn’t want the Dallas vampires to kill and/or keep Sookie. He tells her she will be compensated for her time. That’s… nice I guess.

Then we learn more about maenads. They are creatures from Greek literature. The Bacchus, the Greek god of grapes, entered women and drove them mad. But some of the women became immortal. The creatures tend to linger around alcohol and consequently bars. They are also attracted to pride. Dude, all of these people/vampires better watch out then.

Pam and Eric believe the maenad wants tribute, but they don’t explain of what. And until she gets it, her madness will be brought down on the people of Bon Temps.

On the way back home, Sookie mentions that they should warn Sam about the maenad since he owns a bar and all that. Bill believes Sookie thinks about Sam too much. Jealous vampire! This amuses Sookie. Also me. After they get to Sookie’s Bill demands she take Eric’s shirt off. More jealous vampire! She complies and teases him in her white undies. But then goes to bed cause she’s tired from being beat up again. This makes 4 times, I think.

The next day, Sookie asks Sam for time off for her trip to Dallas.

Sam had been wonderful to me when I’d lost my grandmother, and I counted him as a good friend, a great boss, and (every now and then) a sexual fantasy.

Sookie, why you fantasizing about your boss when you’re dating such an apparently wonderful magnificent vampire? (Just kidding, I don’t like Bill.)

Sookie tells Sam about the maenad. He goes into a strange laughing fit (which still makes absolutely no sense to me) but then gets all serious when she tells him she was attacked. He wants to see her scars so of course she shows him. Wait, what? This seems inappropriate. Oh well. Also he kisses her back. Sookie….

Sam said his mother had told him once that maenads liked proud men as their tributes generally. Then:

Sam, who seemed to have been watching me instead of thinking over the problem, nodded, and then he leaned forward and kissed me. I should have seen it coming. He was so warm after Bill, whose body never got up to warm. Tepid, maybe. Sam’s lips actually felt hot, and his tongue, too. The kiss was deep, intense, unexpected; like the excitement you feel when someone gives you a present you didn’t know you wanted. His arms were around me, mine were around him, and we were giving it everything we had, until I came back to earth.

I pulled away a little, and he slowly raised his head from mine. “I do need to get out of town for a little while,” I said. “Sorry, Sookie, but I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” There were a lot of ways I could go from that statement, but I ratcheted up my determination and took the high road. “Sam, you know I am…” “In love with Bill,” he finished my sentence. I wasn’t completely sure I was in love with Bill, but I loved him, and I had committed myself to him.

Well well. Isn’t that interesting? Not sure huh, Sook? Also, I guess Bill was justified in his jealousy.

Sookie decides to continue their earlier conversation. They’re better at letting things go then me. I think I’d be running out of that office. Speaking of that office, I bet one day they’ll have sex in it. So much goes down in there. Anyways…

Sam says he’ll be on the lookout. Also there has been no news about Lafayette’s murder. Sookie leaves the office confused about her feelings, rightfully so. Jason comes in with Liz Barrett. Sookie hears in Liz’s brain that she might be pregnant. Great, another thing for Sookie to worry about. She secretly brings Liz a non-alcoholic drink.

Portia arrives and wants to talk to Sookie. She wants Sookie to listen in on people’s thoughts to try to figure out who killed Lafayette. This angers Sookie since Andy has been kind of a jerk to her always. But she says she will do it for Lafayette cause she always liked him.

Bill comes in and informs Sookie they are to leave the following evening for Dallas. Note that Sookie does not tell Bill about the kiss. Probably a smart decision, but still. Bill chats with Kevin the cop while Sookie finishes her shift. They go home and do it and then Sookie reminds us again of how sad her life was before. Last time she had been to Dallas, she’d been ditched by her best friend for a boy, she’d never been away from home, and she had to try to control her telepathy.

This would be different, I told myself sternly. I was going at the request of the vampires of Dallas; was that glamorous, or what? I was needed because of my unique skills. I should focus on not calling my quirks a disability. I had learned how to control my telepathy, at least to have much more precision and predictability. I had my own man. No one would abandon me. Still, I have to admit that before I went to sleep, I cried a few tears for the misery that had been my lot.

I am crying for you too, Sookie. Bless your heart forever.

 -----------------------

In Chapter 4, welcome to Texas.

Sookie arrives by plane in Dallas. It is early evening so Bill has not yet risen from his coffin. While Sookie is waiting for Anubis Air to unload Bill, she is approached by a priest. The man acts strange, asking her if she needs help and then giving his condolences. Since the airline is known for transporting vampires, Sookie becomes more suspicious of the man. She decides to read his thoughts and realizes that he fears the nightfall. The priest continues trying to talk to Sookie and then, as Bill raises from the coffin, he grabs her arm and tries to pull her toward a side door to the terminal.

So she just arrives in town and already someone is trying to kidnap her? Sheesh. What did I say about making deals with vampires? I do wonder if this person is just a guy who wants to “save her” from vampires or if he was hired by someone in connection to this job she is on.

Sookie eventually gets Bill’s attention and he rushes over. The priest makes a break for it. Sookie informs Bill she thinks the man was trying to kidnap her. (Well, yeah!) But the vampire just brushes it off. Dude, Bill, this was probably significant. Someone tries to nab your girlfriend and you’re all, no biggy. Shame on you!

Sookie talks about her flight (her first one ever). She enjoyed it, though she had been a little nervous. And of course she’d had to put up her mental shields the whole time. It couldn’t have been a very long flight though. Maybe an hour, I’d guess.

They walk through the airport, get their luggage, find a car. Bill insists Sookie pay attention and learn how to do all of this in case they ever get sent on jobs during the day. More jobs? This is never going to end? Of course, if it did there wouldn’t have been 13 books to enjoy. Let’s just replace Bill with someone else, then jobs would be more fun.

Bill compliments Sookie on her outfit, a grey suit, and she thinks how she would rather be in her Merlotte’s uniform. But Bill had insisted she look “professional” for this job. They arrive at The Silent Shore Hotel and Sookie meets Barry, the bellboy. At first Barry seems like a nervous teenager but then

To my startled delight, I realized (after a quick rummage in Barry’s head) that he was telepath, like me!

More telepaths? Hmm, I wonder what this could mean for Sookie. She’s never met anyone with her “gift” before.

In the lobby of the hotel, they meet Isabel Beaumont, a skinny, brown-headed vampire. She is there to take them to their “job.” But first they check into their room and Bill orders in room service. As Spike so delicately put it, a happy-meal with legs. Of course Sookie is not thrilled about this, but Bill cannot feed from her because she needs all of her strength. Also, it can’t be good for you to let a vampire feed on you all the time. After his meal, they head back to the lobby and hop in Isabel’s Lexus.

She takes them to the home of Stan Davis, vampire.

He was a total geek. That was my first impression. Then I realized that he was carefully disguised as a geek: he was quite…other. His sandy hair was slicked back, his physique was narrow and unimpressive, his black-rimmed glasses were sheer camouflage, and his pinstriped oxford cloth shirt was tucked into cotton-polyester blend pants. He was pale-well, duh-and freckled, with invisible eyelashes and minimal eyebrows.

He doesn’t sound very terrifying, but I bet he is.

Sookie manages to get a single thought from Stan’s brain, but of course tells no one. She also reveals that she has never even told Bill that she can sometimes read vampire thoughts. Trust issues?

The vampires bring in a girl and Stan explains he wants Sookie to read her mind. His “brother” Farrell has gone missing and Stan believes the girl may have information on his whereabouts. The girl, Bethany, works at The Bat’s Wing, the club where Farrell was last seen. Stan describes Farrell (he looks like a cowboy) so Sookie knows who to look for in Bethany’s thoughts. Then we see that Sookie’s ability goes beyond reading minds.

She manages to hypnotize Bethany quickly. Once the girl is relaxed, Sookie delves deep into her brain. Bethany rooms with a girl named Desiree, who also works at the bar. For the most part, Bethany’s day was boring, but when she got to the bar, Sookie sees Farrell in her mind. She served drinks to the vampire. She also saw him disappear into the bathroom with another male vampire, blonde, young, with tattoos. She never saw either of them again.

Bethany starts to break out of her trance, but Sookie catches a final name before she loses her. The girl saw the club bouncer, Re-Bar, go into the bathroom after the vampires.

They let the girl leave and the vamps head out to search for the bouncer. While they are waiting, Sookie wonders if vampires have sex with each other. I guess I always just figured they did, but she makes a good point about how sex is tied with food for vamps. Then she wonders if vampires ever feed from each other. Hmm… Another thing that crosses Sookie’s mind is less good. While in Bethany’s thoughts, Sookie had spotted someone else in the bar that seemed familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on how she knew him. But it comes to her. It was the priest. Only, he hadn’t been dressed like a priest.

See there, Bill. This was significant! Sookie tells Bills and Stan about the man. Stan speculates that the vampire may have helped humans kidnap Farrell.

The other vampires arrive with Re-Bar in tow. But what Sookie discovers about him is disheartening.

“He’s had a hole burned in his head,” I said. “I don’t know how else to explain it, exactly. I can’t tell how it was done, because I’ve never seen it before, but when I look in his thoughts, his memories, there’s just a big old ragged hole. It’s like Re-Bar needed to tiny tumor removed, but the surgeon took his spleen and maybe his appendix, too, just to be sure. You know when y’all take away someone’s memory, you replace it with another one?” I waved a hand to show I meant all vampires. “Well, someone took a chunk out of Re-Bar’s mind, and didn’t replace it with anything.”

This adds a scary item to the list. Vampires can erase memories completely without giving anything back.

Rachel, a red-headed vamp that was at the bar, is brought in. She informs them she remembers the blonde vampire with the tattoos. Bill heads off to do some computer research while Sookie interviews a few more humans. When Bill returns he has interesting info. The blonde vampire’s name is Godric, or Godfrey. He has allied with radical humans and plans to commit suicide. Stan realizes he has joined up with the Fellowship of the Sun (kind of like the KKK, but against vampires) and possibly taken Farrell with him.

I have a feeling this is far from over.

-------------------------------

In Chapter 5, the Fellowship awaits.

There are humans, like those in the Fellowship, who think vampires are all an abomination and should die. Likewise, there are those vampires who refuse to mainstream because they view humans strictly as their food source. Then there were those vampires, like Godfrey, who were so stricken with remorse and depression that they would “meet the sun” (commit suicide by sunlight).

Once again, my choice of boyfriend had led me down paths I never would have trod otherwise. I wouldn’t have needed to know any of this, would never have even dreamed of dating someone definitely deceased, if I hadn’t been born with the disability of telepathy.

This is interesting. It almost sounds like Sookie’s saying that she’s only dating a vampire because she can’t read his mind. And I can’t say I blame her too much. I have no idea what it is like to be able to read minds, but surely there is a safer option of boyfriends than vampires. *coughSHAPESHIFTERScough*

For fairness, I’ll also include that Sookie is apparently oh so happy. Blah.

When I met Bill, I began the happiest time of my life. But I’d undoubtedly encountered more trouble in the months I’d known him than I had in my entire twenty-five years previously.

Yes, definitely more trouble. Have you decided if love is worth the misery yet, Sookie? Why can’t I just let the girl be happy? She deserves happy. Oh, yeah. Cause I don’t like Bill.

Stan believes Farrell could be dead, but Bill thinks the Fellowship may be keeping him somewhere. Sookie wonders how the Fellowship could have known that she and Bill were coming into town and Stan insists there must be a traitor. Sookie suggests that maybe the place is bugged (she writes this on paper cause she’s smart and stuff). Stan and Bill don’t seem to embrace her idea so screw them. She crawls around under the table and finds…what?...oh a bug. Who’s smart now, vampires?

The bug means there is also still probably a traitor and Stan is determined to figure out who it is. They get rid of the bug and then decide Sookie should infiltrate the Fellowship the next day. Isabel’s current human is set to accompany her. Isabel also informs Stan that there is a visitor from California, named Leif, in the house. Stan wishes to question the visiting vamp about the bug.

I stared at my toes, wishing more than I’d ever wished anything that I could be completely alone with Bill for two minutes and find out what the hell was going on, because this vampire wasn’t any “Leif,” and he wasn’t from California. It was Eric.

Eric? Now what is he doing here? Oh, who cares? It’s Eric.

Sookie informs Stan that “Leif” could not have planted the bug if he had just arrived since whoever bugged the place knew about Sookie and Bill’s earlier arrival. Then, so she doesn’t risk giving Eric away, Sookie tells Stan that she is tired and would like to go back to the hotel. At first Stan tries to send her alone, but she insists Bill come with her. Isabel takes them back to the hotel.

They start making out and stuff when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Eric, of course. They chat a moment before he leaves.

The next morning, Sookie orders room service and eats all the food. Apparently, Bill has issues with watching her eat. Not good for a girl’s self esteem. Just sayin. Sookie decides she should dress conservatively to visit the Fellowship so she calls back to the front desk for a long skirt and top and they deliver.

Sookie also sees on the news that Bethany, the girl she’d talked to the night before, was found dead, shot in the head. Her body was dumped outside of the Silent Shore Hotel. The detectives believe this was a message for the vampires. Sookie doesn’t seem to think a vampire was involved in the death either. Perhaps the Fellowship had a hand in it.

She gets dressed (puts on a wig…. She was almost kidnapped so she must have a disguise…) and goes downstairs to meet Hugo Ayres, Isabel’s man. On the way they chat. Hugo has been dating Isobel for 11 months. He used to be married and has a daughter.

“Is it true you can read minds?” he asked. “Yes, it’s true.” “No wonder you’re so attractive to them.” Well, ouch, Hugo.

What is untrue about that statement? Yeah, okay. Still mean.

Hugo is a lawyer. He represented Stan in court when the vampire’s neighbors were trying to get him kicked out of the neighborhood. Sookie picks from his brain that he’s a bit ambivalent about Isabel and his involvement in vampire affairs. This makes Sookie nervous.

The two decide to pose as a couple who met in church. Hugo plans to play himself, whilst Sookie will be a restaurant manager who just moved to Dallas. They arrive at the Fellowship headquarters and Hugo warns Sookie about how dangerous the Fellowship can be. Rumor has it that they hand vampires over to drainers.

They enter the building and run into a forty-something cheerful woman. Her name is Sarah Newlin, wife of Steve Newlin, head of the Fellowship. She leads them down a hallway that appears squeaky clean. Sookie is on the lookout for anything suspicious. Sarah takes them directly to Steve’s office.

The tall, lanky man behind the desk stood to beam at us with an air of pleased expectancy. His head didn’t seem quite big enough for his body. His eyes were a hazy blue, his nose was on the beaky side, and his hair was almost the same dark brown as his wife’s, with a threading of gray. I don’t know what I’d been expecting in a fanatic, but this man was not it.

Another woman with gray hair is in Steve’s office; Polly, they discover. He greets them and Hugo explains that he and his girlfriend, Marigold, were interested in learning more about the Fellowship. Steve and co. recognize Hugo and he goes with the story about how he’s changed his tune on vampires after getting to know them. Steve starts talking about the evil of vampires and how they are all going to hell.

Another man, Gabe, comes into the room and tells Steve that their guest would like to speak with him. Sookie thinks the guest must be Farrell. Steve runs Gabe off. Hugo asks about upcoming events he and Marigold could attend and Polly informs them that they are having a lock-in that night and a special dawn ritual the next morning. Killing a vampire, no doubt.

Hugo and Sookie tell the three they will come back for the lock-in, but Sarah goes on about how they need to tour the place. Steve urges them to stay the whole day. This is making Sookie and me nervous. It’s obvious the Fellowshipers suspect something is wrong.

On their way down the halls of the joint, they pass a bunch of humans and one not-so-human.

We passed a tiny, thin Hispanic woman in the hall, and as her eyes flicked over to us, I caught a mental signature I’d only felt once before. Then, it came from Sam Merlotte. This woman, like Sam, was a shapeshifter, and her big eyes widened as she caught the waft of “difference” from me.

Sookie tries to get the woman’s attention, to signal that they are in trouble and need help. But the woman looks afraid. Sarah continues to lead Sookie and Hugo around the “church” and end at a final door.

It should have led outside. Instead, it led down.

Uh oh. I gots a bad feeling about this.

--------------------------------

In Chapter Six, shapeshifters are the bomb!

Sookie and Hugo are led down a set of stairs and underground. They try to talk themselves out of the situation. Hugo calms because he is naïve and thinks nothing bad will happen to him. Sarah knocks on a door at the bottom of the staircase (three fast, pause, two fast). Gabe answers, looking creepily happy.

Sookie starts freaking out and when Steve still insists they stay, she shoves him and makes a break for the stairs. But Gabe gets a hold of her and she falls, hitting her face, chest, hips, knees…everything. This brings our injury count to like four or five I think. Hugo tries to keep up their act but Gabe is having none of that.

He tosses Sookie into another, smaller room, more like a cell and when Hugo walks in to check on her, Gabe slams the door, locking them both inside. Very smart, Hugo.

While trapped, Sookie takes a peek into Hugo’s thoughts, discovering that he has been lying the entire time. He was working for the Fellowship and now he doesn’t understand why they have him locked up.

“How long have you been a traitor?” He flushed an incredible red. “To whom? To Isabel, or to the human race?” “Take your pick.” “I betrayed the human race when I took the side of the vampires in court. If I’d had any idea of what they were…I took the case sight unseen, because I thought it would be an interesting legal challenge. I have always been a civil rights lawyer, and I was convinced vampires had the same civil rights as other people.”

Apparently Hugo became addicted to vampire sex and started doing anything Isabel asked him to. He felt they treated him badly so he turned to the Fellowship and started spying for them. Hugo says the Fellowship took Bethany after he told them she was the only one who had seen Godfrey with Farrell.

Hugo still seems to think the Fellowship is on his side but, as Sookie reminds him, he is still locked up. Gabe comes to the door with a plan. He wants to move Hugo to Farrell’s cell. Sookie yells for Farrell and tells him that Stan sent them. Gabe smacks her across the face and he and Hugo leave the cell.

Sookie picks up a plastic chair in the cell. Gabe returns with the intent to rape Sookie. She charges at him, knocks him off for a second and holds him back. The vampire blood in her is coming in handy. But he zaps her with his stun gun and gets her to the floor. They struggle a moment and Sookie manages to free her hands, clapping him over his ears. He screams and pops up for a second. Sookie knows that he plans to kill her. He rears back his fist… but the blow never comes.

The next thing Sookie knows, Gabe is being pulled off of her and hangs in the air. Holding him is a young skinny man. Godfrey. Gabe tries to defend himself but Godfrey shakes him and shuts him the hell up. Sookie asks Godfrey to help her escape but he insists he can’t because she associates with vampires. Then he talks about how he will be atoning for his sins by meeting the sun the next morning. Sookie says she’s in love with a vampire. Ugh. But Godfrey insists all vampires should die. Maybe not all. Just one… (Okay, I’m mean.)

Godfrey tries to defend the Fellowship but Sookie points out how terrible they have been to her. Godfrey explains that he has killed many children, innocents, and the only thing that can stop him is death. Sookie asks him again to help her escape, but he knows that if he lets her go, her vampires will raid the place and he will not get to meet the dawn. Sookie asks why he doesn’t just go outside now, if he is so desperate to die. Legit question.

But the official ceremony is planned and apparently Godfrey is one for following the plans. He informs Sookie that Farrell will also take part in the ceremony. When Sookie asks what the Fellowship had planned to do with her, Godfrey explains that she is to be tied to one of the vamps to burn with them.

Now, call me crazy, but this doesn’t seem like the best public relations tactic. Killing vampires is one thing, but killing a human? That isn’t bound to get people on your side, I feel like.

Sookie feels the same way I do. (I should also mention that while they are conversing, Godfrey accidentally squeezes Gabe to death. Oh well.) Finally, she convinces Godfrey to help her escape. He leads her up the stairs and into the hallways of the Fellowship. Sarah starts to come out of an office and Godfrey shoves Sookie into a nearby room. He distracts Sarah, Polly and Steve by telling them he is having second thoughts about meeting the sun. Meanwhile, Sookie decides to put her telepathic powers to the test.

She mentally reaches out to Barry the bellboy. To her happy surprise, he answers. She instructs him to get Bill and tell him she is in trouble. Godfrey manages to get the Newlins in Steve’s office and Sookie makes a run for it. She hides in the sanctuary when she hears others entering. People are arriving for the lock-in. Sookie decides to try to make it outside, but the people spot her.

She tries to talk her way out the door, but her beaten and bruised appearance makes the people suspicious. She’s running out of options when a cheerful voice calls out to her. The Hispanic woman. Sookie plays along with the woman, Luna, acting like they are old friends. Luna gets her out of the sanctuary but wants to know how Sookie knew she was a shapeshifter. Sookie explains she has a shapeshifter friend back home. She then explains how she can read minds and is visiting the Fellowship on vampire business.

Luna informs Sookie that the shapeshifters have the Fellowship under surveillance. Sookie is thrilled to find out the shifters are organized. But Luna insists they are not going to mainstream so she doesn’t want anyone finding out what she is. Luna says she was not aware Farrell was being held and only knew Godfrey planned to kill himself.

Sookie starts on her way when she realizes something is wrong. The Fellowship has noticed her absence (and probably dead Gabe) and is coming after her. Luna drives up in her car and motions Sookie in. They get into a mini car chase before Sarah and Polly ram into their back end and run them off the road, flipping the car. And Sookie suffers even more injuries.

Polly and Sarah attempt to make up excuses but a boat load of people saw them run the other two off the road so they are pretty much SOL. An ambulance arrives to take Sookie and Luna to the hospital. Luna has special shifter connections in the hospital and helps Sookie escape through a back entrance. A car arrives to pick them up. The two people in the front seat insist Sookie wear a blindfold, which she does, while they drive her back to her hotel. (This seems sketchy but I guess they are helping her so… nope still sketchy.)

These two, she discovers, are werewolves (thugs of the shifter community). When they arrive back at the hotel, Eric is waiting outside. The three two-natured people drop Sookie off and leave. Eric tells her Bill has been out looking for her and gives the other vampire a call to let him know Sookie is now back at the hotel. The vampires raided the Fellowship and rescued Farrell.

On the elevator to the room, Sookie gets a good look at herself and burst into tears. Eric attempts to comfort her.

He gathered me up like an armful of clothes and held me to him. I got his lovely suit jacket wet and snotty, and his pristine white shirt was spotless no more. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I held back and looked at his ensemble. I swabbed it with the scarf. “Don’t cry again,” he said hastily. “Just don’t start crying again, and I won’t mind taking this to the cleaners. I won’t even mind getting a whole new suit.”

Oh, Eric. Hundreds of years old and he can’t handle a woman in tears. Bless his heart.

They get to the room and Eric gets ointment and such to clean Sookie’s wounds. He’s picking glass out of her arm when Bill arrives. She tells him what happened to her and he tells her Godfrey ran off during the raid. Not to eat more children, I hope.

“Good night, Sookie. I’m glad you weren’t raped and killed.”

How sweet Eric is.

He leaves and Bill deposits Sookie in the bath tub. After he cleans her up and gets her into bed, he tells her more about their raid. They pushed past Steve, who insisted they would burst into flames in the church, which of course they didn’t. What did all of his followers think of that I wonder? Most of the humans scattered while they got down to the basement to rescue Farrell. Hugo was still alive, but I imagine he won’t be for long now that they all know he was the traitor.

Bill says he was all worried when he couldn’t find Sookie, but who really cares. (Sorry if you care!)

This chapter was kind of a long one and a lot of crap happened. I wonder what could be in store next. Are Sookie and Bill done in Dallas? And when are we going to find out what happened to Lafayette?

---------------------------

In Chapter 7…It’s not over till it’s over.

Sookie wakes up the next morning, all looking and feeling like she lost a fight with a freight train. But she decides she has someplace to be. She dresses and hops a cab back to the Fellowship. Okay, at first I was like, what the hell, Sookie? These people nearly killed you and you’re going back to pay them a visit? But then I realize she is not going there to see the Newlins, but to see Godfrey.

The vampire is there, waiting to meet the sun. Sookie felt like he should have an audience. She sheds a few tears cause she’s a good person like that, and watches the vampire kill himself. It is kind of sad. But I can’t feel too terribly bad since Godfrey was a child murderer and all.

After he’s dust…or whatever… Sookie goes back to the hotel and goes back to sleep for the entire day. Bill wakes her up that evening by kissing on her lady parts. Really, Bill? She’s all injured and in pain and you still want to have sex? How inconsiderate.

“Lie on your side,” he whispered. “I will take care of everything.”

Still inconsiderate.

Later on, Sookie reveals that she went to watch Godfrey die. Bill wants to go tell Stan, which seems like a terrible idea. What they should do is pack up and leave town. Sookie did her job. Sticking around now is only going to get her into more trouble. But she has to find out what happened to Hugo. Sigh.

The two venture back to Stan’s house and find a whole hoard of vamps. They are all celebrating Farrell’s return. The cowboy wannabe thanks Sookie and compliments her, probably to make her feel better since she looks like crap. Stan insists Sookie give him all of the details about what happened to her. I bet she’s getting really tired of telling this story. She tells him the gist, leaving out specifics about the shapeshifters and omitting Eric entirely.

Then we add another item to the list. When Sookie tells Stan about Godfrey’s death, the vampire begins to cry… blood. So does this mean all of their bodily fluids are red or what? #ifyouknowwhatimean Sorry, no more hashtags.

Stan isn’t sad Godfrey’s dead, as it turns out; he just admires the vamps courage or something. But Stan gets less cryie and more angry when Sookie questions his honor. She demands to know what happened to Hugo, as the agreement was that no humans would be killed if they were found to be involved in Farrell’s kidnapping. Stan flashes his angry fangs at Sookie but she holds her ground. So he takes her upstairs into a locked room.

Except for the dark blue wall-to-wall, the room was bare. Isabel was chained to the wall on one side of the room-with silver, of course. Hugo was on the other. He was chained, too. They were both awake, and they both looked at the doorway, naturally. Isabel nodded as if we’d met in the mall, though she was naked. I saw that her wrists and ankles were padded to prevent the silver from burning her, though the chains would still keep her weak. Hugo was naked, too. He could not take his eyes off Isabel. He barely glanced at me to see who I was before his gaze returned to her. I tried not to be embarrassed, because that seemed such a petty consideration; but I think it was the first time I’d seen another naked adult in my life, besides Bill.

Hold up. That’s not legit. In the last book, Sookie saw nakedness. She saw that vampire Liam’s privates, which, okay, maybe doesn’t count as completely naked, but she also saw Sam naked. When she woke up with him in her bed he was naked. And I’m pretty sure she got a good view in. Just saying. Also wasn’t Dawn naked when Sookie found her body? Anyways… not legit, Sook.

So it turns out that Stan’s punishment for the two is to keep them chained up for a few months. He says they plan to feed Hugo but not Isabel. Since she brought a traitor into the midst, she is to be punished as well. She will not be fed and Hugo will have to stare at her all horny but being able to do nothing about it. Seems fair, I guess.

Another fact we learn in this scene is that it is illegal for vampires and humans to get married. Too bad.

They go back to the party so Bill can socialize. Sookie chats with another human girl at the party about dating vampires. Then Eric comes to sit by Sookie. He reveals that he came on this trip in an unofficial capacity so that he could make sure Sookie’s first job went well. It’s obvious this is not the last time she will have to work for him.

“Besides, I’m hoping that the more you see me, the more I’ll grow on you.” “Like a fungus?”

LOL. Yes, like a very attractive fungus. Just when Eric is trying to win Sookie over, she hears something… thoughts, a bunch of them, coming from all around Stan’s house. Uh-oh. At the last minute, Sookie yells for everyone to hit the floor.

Every vampire obeyed. So when the Fellowship opened fire, it was the humans that died.

See, now. I knew they should have left before more crap went down. I can only imagine how Sookie’s going to get hurt now. She may as well get her a portable medical kit to carry around.

--------------------------------

In Chapter 8, trouble in paradise?

Sookie sees humans dying around her, including Trudi, the girl she had been talking to minutes before. But she isn’t hit, surprisingly, because Eric is so heroically shielding her. Finally, the attack comes to a halt.

When it began to tamper off, I looked up into Eric’s eyes. Incredibly, he was excited. He smiled at me. “I knew I’d get on top of you somehow,” he said.

Why do I love the bad boys? *evilsmile*

The attack was over. I seemed to be having trouble breathing, and figuring out what I should do next. Surely there was something, some action, I should be taking? This was as close to war as I would ever come.

Somehow I feel like this might not be true and she really should not have said that.

Humans are screaming and vampires are growling. Some of them chased after the Fellowship. Eric makes a comment about how Sookie keeps messing up his shirts. He’s bleeding, having been hit by bullets. Sookie searches around for Bill, who is nowhere to be found.

Eric asks Sookie to suck a bullet out of his shoulder. She seems appalled, of course, but he insists that if it’s not out soon, it will heal inside of him. Since she doesn’t have a knife and he continues to guilt trip her (since he took that bullet for her), she finally agrees. She tries to spit out most of the blood, but swallows some of it. Hmm.

“Your lips are bloody.” He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It’s hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. And I might have let myself enjoy it-well, enjoy it more-if I hadn’t been so worried about Bill; because let’s face it, brushes with death have that effect. You want to reaffirm the fact that you’re alive.

If Sookie is really so in love with Bill, and so dedicated, then why has she kissed TWO other dudes in this book? Clearly, her relationship with tall, dark, and broody is not as solid as she keeps claiming.

Sookie goes searching for Bill and finds him coming through the yard, looking rosy. And you know what that means. He killed someone. And Sookie is not happy. Her main problem, I think, is not that he killed the people but that he ran off to do that before even checking to make sure that she was okay. It may seem crazy that she gets so pissed, but I don’t care. Team Sookie!

She stomps out to the car, drives to the airport, and goes back home. Alone.

Not looking good, Bill. Not looking good.

----------------------------

In Chapter 9, football and too much sex.

The chapter picks up a few weeks after Sookie returned from Dallas. She hasn’t spoken to Bill since she got back. The only indication she had that Bill had even returned was he left her suitcase sitting on her front porch. He also left a pair of topaz earrings inside, but she takes them back to his house and leaves them in the mailbox.

The paper has the vampires in Dallas listed as heroes and says the Legislature is being pressured into signing bills and such to allow vampires to hold elected positions. Sookie doesn’t believe that this will ever actually happen, but you know. Texas was also trying to get vampires involved in executions. Electric chair, lethal injection, vampire bite. Gotta give the criminals more options. Besides, it would provide nutrition to the vampire. Seems legit to me.

The senator proposing all of this has the same last name as Luna so Sookie wonders if they could be related. Sam informs her that Garza is a pretty common last name among Hispanic people.

Sam didn’t ask why I wanted to know. That made me feel a little forlorn, because I was used to feeling important to Sam. But he was preoccupied these days, on the job and off.

Well that’s what you get for choosing stinky old Bill over him. He can’t spend the rest of his life, and yes his actual life, not his afterlife, pining over you! Also, I wonder what has Sam so preoccupied. Why do I get the feeling that it is not something good?

Arlene said she thought he was dating someone, which was a first, as far as any of us could remember. Whoever she was, none of us got to see her, which was strange in and of itself. I tried to tell him about the shapeshifters of Dallas, but he just smiled and found an excuse to go do something else.

I am worried. This does not sound like Sam. Yeah, he’s allowed to date. I do want the man to be happy (and apparently Sookie isn’t gonna wise up anytime soon) but this all seems very suspect.

Jason comes over to Sookie’s house and informs her that Bill has been seen out and about with Portia Bellefleur. Jason seems to think it is because Portia is Sookie’s opposite. Sookie is still upset though. Her brother also tells her that so far there have been no charges against Andy for Lafayette’s murder. Jason’s convinced that if there really was a sex club in Bon Temps that someone would have invited him. LOL Jason.

He probably has a point though. Him being a man-whore and all that. But, as Sookie points out, it could also be a gay orgy club and Jason was most certainly not gay.

Sookie sees Bill and Portia out together that night and gets pretty darn angry. Then at work, Andy begs her to take Bill back so he’ll leave Portia alone. Andy has become much more of a drunk lately it seems.

The next evening, Sookie decides she’s tired of sitting at home alone and opts to go to the high school football game. What is it with small towns and their football teams? The film of the game is shown twice on a local-access channel, and boys who show promise with pigskin are minor royalty, more’s the pity.

Sookie gets all dressed up, slacks and a red sweater, and heads out. When she gets to the game her friend Tara Thornton calls out to her. Sookie goes to sit with Tara, her fiancé Eggs (short for Benedict Tallie), and Egg’s best friend, none other than JB du Rone. This lifts Sookie’s spirits since JB always has nice things to say about her. They have all been drinking apparently.

They chat about people they know and then about the game once it starts. JB reveals he is a bit sad since the doctor he met while he was visiting Sookie in the hospital has moved to Baton Rouge. Sookie convinces him that he should go visit the doctor and he kisses her cheek. Then, she kisses his mouth. I guess some people kiss friends on the mouth, but I am not one of those people. I just find it strange. Apparently Bill finds it angry-making. (Anyone read the Uglies series?)

Sookie spots Bill glaring at her. He is attending the game with Portia. Sookie tries to be mad back at him but she can’t cause she misses him or some crap like that.

I turned my eyes away and smiled at JB, and all the time what I wanted was to meet with Bill under the stands and have sex with him right then and there. I wanted him to pull down my pants and get behind me. I wanted him to make me moan.

Naughty Sookie! She admits to herself that maybe she is a vampire sex addict like Hugo. Having never had vampire sex, I cannot speak one way or the other about this. It’s a sad life I lead.

The rest of the game Sookie just tries not to look at Bill. Afterwards, she takes JB home, refuses his offer to come inside, and heads to her casa.

As I unlocked the front door, Bill came out of the darkness. Without a word, he grabbed my arm and turned me to him, and then he kissed me. In a minute we were pressed against the door with his body moving rhythmically against mine. I reached one hand behind myself to fumble with the lock, and the key finally turned. We stumbled into the house, and he turned me to face the couch. I gripped it with my hands and, just as I’d imagined, he pulled down my pants, and then he was in me.

I made a hoarse noise I’d never heard come from my throat before. Bill was making noises equally as primitive. I didn’t think I could form a word. His hands were under my sweater, and my bra was in two pieces. He was relentless. I almost collapsed after the first time I came. “No,” he growled when I was flagging, and he kept pounding. Then he increased the pace until I was almost sobbing, and then my sweater tore, and his teeth found my shoulder. He made a deep, awful sound, and then, after longer seconds, it was over.

It wore me out just typing that scene. Sheesh, you’d think Bill hadn’t had sex in years. Maybe Sookie isn’t the one addicted to sex. Just saying. Then, only speaking one sentence “You smell like him”, Bill gets Sookie to her room and puts her on the bed.

He slid his arms underneath me and held me to him as tightly as possible; he nuzzled my neck, kneaded my hips, ran his fingers down my thighs, and kissed the backs of my knees. He bathed in me. “Spread your legs, Sookie,” he whispered, in his cold dark voice, and I did. He was ready again, and he was rough with it, as if he were trying to prove something. “Be sweet” I said, the first time I had spoken. “I can’t. It’s been too long, next time I’ll be sweet, I swear,” he said.

Again, it’s been like three weeks, not ten years. And maybe this all isn’t too rough or too much for Sookie, but I have to wonder if maybe it is. Is sobbing during sex a good thing? I think not, but what do I know?

They fall asleep then, but Bill wakes Sookie up not very long after, trying to explain himself. The hunt is engrained in a vampire’s DNA and he just couldn’t help himself. Yeah, yeah, we hear you, Bill. Whatever. Sookie agrees to try and meet him halfway on issues they disagree on. She questions him about Portia. He says the lawyer approached him when he got back from Dallas with some story about how guns used in that vampire attack were found to be bought from some local place.

Sookie theorizes that Portia is using Bill to get an invite to the sex club. If she is seen with a vampire, she might be deemed worthy of attending. Or at least, Sookie tries to theorize. Horny ass Bill distracts her.

“Yes, didn’t I tell you…oh, Bill, no…Bill, I’m still worn out from last…Oh. Oh. God.” His hands had gripped me with their great strength, and moved me purposefully, right onto his stiffness. He began rocking me again, back and forth. “Oh,” I said, lost in the moment. I began to see colors floating in front of my eyes, and then I was being rocked so fast I couldn’t keep track of my motion. The end came at the same time for both of us, and we clung together panting for several minutes.

Admittedly, kind of hot, but still. Let the girl talk, Bill!

Then Bill asks Sookie about sucking the bullet out of Eric’s shoulder. As it were, the older vampire had had a pocketknife in his very pocket. Presumably, his reason for tricking Sookie was so that she would ingest some of his blood. List item: when a human has a vampire’s blood in their system, the vampire can feel what the human feels. Sneaky Eric.

Sookie finally gets to finish her Portia theory. Bill confesses he was mostly hanging out with Portia so Sookie would be jealous. Of course, Bill is still jealous of JB it seems.

The next morning, Sookie is all happy which means something bad is about to happen. That day at work, Mike Spencer, coroner, approaches her about a gathering at Fowler’s lake house. She picks from his brain that this is the sex club. Mike informs her that Tara, Eggs and Portia will all be there. WHAT?!  She tells him she will think about it.

Then Sam awesomeness.

I looked at him, wishing that I could ask what he thought. Sam was strong and wiry, and he was clever, too. The bookkeeping, the ordering, the maintenance and planning, he never seemed to be taxed with any of it. Sam was a self-sufficient man, and I liked and trusted him.

J  Sam reveals that Luna called him and he may take a trip to Dallas to visit the shifters there. But Luna has introduced him to some shifters in Ruston, closer to home. Then he mentions that he has been spending time with the maenad. WTF, Sam???!!! Sookie has a similar reaction and he gets all defensive. She realizes he must be sleeping with the creature. She reminds him of what the maenad did to her and storms off, leaving Sam all :0.

Ugh, why he be hooking up with someone who tried to kill Sookie? Sam, do not make a habit out of this!

Sookie gets home and has a message from Bill on her answering machine. This girl really needs a cellphone. He warns her about going in the woods. The tribute the vampires offered to the maenad was not good enough so Eric is having to come in to Bon Temps the following night to meet with her. Bill also says that he has to go back to Dallas to resolve some compensation issues. Apparently the two-natured are asking for lots-o-cash for helping Sookie. Probably the werewolves.

Since Bill is out of town, Sookie calls the next best vampire to help her out with her sex party issue: Eric Northman.

“See, there’s a long explanation, but the situation is that I need to go to a party tomorrow night that’s really just a…well, it’s a…kind of orgy thing? And I need someone with me in case…just in case.”

Awkward. Eric agrees to accompany her, but she asks one more thing of him. She wants him to pretend to be gay. He says he’ll be there at 9:30.

This should be interesting.

 --------------------------

In Chapter 10, orgies!

Sookie finally hears back from Bill, who insists she take Sam or Jason with her to the party. LOL. Did Bill forget what kind of party this is? Since he’d left that in a message, she didn’t get the chance to tell him that she had already found someone to go with her: Eric. Though, in Bill’s book, that would not be reassuring.

Eric sneaks up on Sookie while she’s listening to her message and scares the junk out of her. She gives him a good scolding for not knocking. I’m not sure if this item has been listed yet, but if not, vampires have to be invited in to a house before they can enter it. Sookie wonders how Eric came in, but he reminds her that she invited him in a month or so before when he’d come to talk to Bill. Also, he did knock, she just didn’t hear him.

Eric questions Sookie on what she will be wearing to the orgy and she has no idea, never having been to one. Eric, as it turns out, has been to one. Not too very shocking.

“The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this.” Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-Shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings. I don’t know where he got them; I didn’t know any company made Lycra leggings in Men’s X-tra Large Tall. They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the sides of Jason’s truck.

So much LOL. I imagine this looks ridiculous. Hey, she did tell him to pretend to be gay.

“I don’t believe I could be convincing as a queen,” Eric said, “but I decided this sent such a mixed signal, almost anything was possible.” He fluttered his eyelashes at me.

Hahahahaha. I love you, Eric.

He offers to help Sookie look for something to wear but she refuses him. She decides on some junior high Daisy Dukes and a low cut white tank top that shows off the top of her bra. Acceptable attire I suppose. Sookie comments on how she and Eric have the same color hair and he makes some inappropriate comment about the rest of her hair being the same color. Then he chides the human race for shaving. Maybe it’s because back in his human days women didn’t shave their legs and armpits, but that’s just gross now. EVERYONE SHOULD SHAVE!

While Sookie explains to Eric exactly why they are going to this party, he mentions how Bill hates the Bellefleurs but doesn’t elaborate. I wonder why this is. Maybe he had beef with their family a hundred years ago or something. Sookie asks Eric not to let anything happen to her at the party and he tells her that trusting him is crazy.

I have to agree with him. He has given her little reason to trust him at this point. He did take a bullet for her, but if Bill is correct, it was only in hopes she’d ingest some of his blood. He’s a really old sneaky sneaky  vampire. But I like him so hopefully nothing bad happens to her.

Sookie reflects on the good things in life on the way to the lake house. Eric senses that she is happy. Him detecting her emotions has begun! They arrive at the house and start getting out of the car.

“We’re being watched.” “Then I’ll act friendly.” We were out of the car by that time. Eric bent, and without yanking me to him, set his mouth on mine. He didn’t grab me, so I felt fairly relaxed. I’d known that at the very minimum I’d have to kiss other people. So I set my mind to it.

Though it was dismaying to think that this was the second time I had kissed Eric and that I had enjoyed it more than I should, I could feel a smile twitch the corners of my mouth as we crossed the bumpy ground of the clearing.

Poor Bill. Haha just kidding! Screw Bill. But not…literally.

 They enter the house and everyone is immediately aware that Eric is a vampire. But they don’t seem afraid. Jan Fowler, a thirty something divorced woman, is the first to approach them. She informs Eric that they have blood because sometimes they like to pretend. Okay, eww. It’s one thing to drink a vampires blood to get high or whatever, but drinking synthetic blood? Or actual human blood? Yuck.

Eggs and Tara are there. As is Mike and Cleo Hardaway, a school cafeteria lady. It’s obvious Eggs is into Eric. Tara doesn’t seem into anyone. I don’t think I could handle a situation like this. Orgies just don’t seem like my kind of thing. And I wouldn’t want my fiancé having sex with other men either. No way.

Everybody’s either naked or close to it and Mike and Cleo appear to be covered in oil. Sookie slips away from them towards Tara who was having her thighs kissed by Tom Hardaway, Cleo’s husband. Tara seems miserable to Sookie. The girl obviously does not enjoy this as much as the drunk Eggs, who attempts to unbutton Sookie’s shorts whilst staring longingly at Eric’s…umm…package.

Sookie tries to talk about Lafayette but Eggs doesn’t bite. Eric comes up behind Sookie and pulls her away from Eggs.

I leaned back into Eric, really glad he was there. I realized that was because I expected Eric to misbehave. But seeing people you’d known all your life act like this, it was deeply disgusting. I wasn’t too sure I could keep my face from showing this, so I wiggled against Eric, and when he made a happy sound, I turned in his arms to face him. I put my arms up around his neck and raised my face. He happily complied with my silent suggestion. With my face concealed, my mind was free to roam. I opened myself up mentally, just as Eric parted my lips with his tongue, so I felt completely unguarded.

I feel like Eric might be taking advantage of this situation, but I can’t seem to care. Sookie probes minds while Eric probes Sookie’s mouth. ;) Eggs is thinking of Lafayette. At first, about the other man’s body and talented fingers (TOO MUCH INFORMATION) but then he thinks about Lafayette protesting. Jan comes up behind Eric and tries to join them, touching Sookie’s bottom. This allows Sookie to see in the woman’s head, but she is not thinking about Lafayette at all.

Mike Spencer, however, is thinking about the man. Through his thoughts, Sookie sees Jan asleep on the couch, Lafayette struggling against Mike and Tom. Mike punching him while Tom holds him down. Sookie tells Eric she has to get out, so he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. He gives excuses to the others about Sookie being shy and takes her outside. He lays her on the hood of his car and lies on top of her. All for show, of course.

Sookie cannot understand how people like this sort of thing. She wonders if people really enjoy sex with those they don’t even like. Eric tries to put the moves on Sookie, but she halfway rejects him because of Bill, who shows up right then. He seems unhappy for some reason. I wonder what his problem is. *evilsmile* Sookie is ready to leave though, knowing she has done all she can do for Lafayette and Andy.

But then Andy comes out of the woods, drunk and holding a gun. Everyone comes out onto the porch and Bill pisses Sookie off when he keeps repeating how she smells like Eric. She flips out on him, saying who knows who she’d smell on him if she had that ability. Andy starts threatening them all, demanding to know who killed Lafayette.

He demands Sookie come over and tell him what everybody is thinking. After he makes a derogatory comment about her, she stomps over to him. Not a good idea, Sookie. He grabs her by the back of the neck.

Bill was trying to tell me something with his face, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Eric was trying to cop a feel from Tara. Or Eggs. It was hard to tell. A dog whined at the edge of the woods.

LOL Eric. Also, yay Sam!

The dog approaches and growls at Andy, who makes a comment about how he’d never shoot a dog. See, I’m not the only one who thinks killing animals is sadder than killing humans sometimes.

As if the night couldn’t get any crazier, who should arrive, but the maenad. The very naked maenad. Sookie theorizes that she and Sam were in the woods umm….playing checkers together? (Buffy reference!) The maenad introduces herself as Callisto.

I had no idea what Andy looked like, but everyone on the deck was enthralled and terrified, Eric and Bill excepted. They were easing back, away from the humans. This wasn’t good.

No, not good at all. It would appear to me that maenads have the power of seduction. Almost hypnotizingly so. And remember they are also drawn to alcohol and sex. These people are doomed.

The maenad says she will help Andy figure out who the killer is. She motions for Eggs to come to her and so he does. Sookie notices Callisto’s eyes are glowing and that Bill and Eric are finding anywhere else to look than at her. Hypno eyes! Sam nudges Sookie toward Bill while Callisto gives Eric the once over and calls to Mike.

“Have you ever seen anything like me before?” “No,” he said, and all the others shook their heads. “You don’t remember my first visit?” “No, ma’am.” “But you’ve made me an offering before.” “I have? An offering?” “Oh, yes, when you killed the little black man.”

Gasp. So Callisto was behind Lafayette’s murder after all. Bill and Eric smoosh Sookie between them while she tries to block out the thoughts of all of the scared individuals on the porch. Sam puts himself at their legs. PROTECT ALL THE SOOKIES! That made no sense….

Tara backs up and slinks away from the rest of them. Smart move. Jan just gets completely ignored, bless her heart. She tries to get Callisto’s attention, and then has a seizure or something and presumably dies. Then so does everyone else. Callisto gets into their heads, drives them mad, and then there are wet sounds. I can only imagine that means there’s now a bloody mess. This is somewhat confirmed when Callisto comes into Sookie’s line of vision covered in blood.

The maenad bids Sam a farewell. He seems a bit too enthralled by her to suit me. Wise up, Sam!

But then she leaves, off to find more tributes. May the odds be ever in their favor.

------------------------------

In the final chapter, Bill is what?!

Eric and Bill decide they must burn the cabin. Sam turns back into a human, and Tara is alive.

“Would there be a blanket in that cabin, you think?” I asked Sam. He trotted over to the steps, and I noticed the effect was interesting from behind. After a minute, he trotted back-wow, this view was even more arresting-and wrapped a blanket around the two of us.

Eggs and Andy also lived, apparently. They are still all zoned out though. Sam agrees to drive Tara and Eggs home, but not before Eric wipes their memories. Portia shows up and they tell her a bit of what happened. They also discover blood and Lafayette’s wallet in the trunk of Mike’s car. This will give the police enough evidence to clear Andy. Portia thanks them and takes her brother home. Eric leaves for Shreveport and Bill takes Sookie home.

He tells her Callisto is long gone and that maenads love to wander. Sookie doesn’t understand why Sam was fooling around with her and Bill thinks it’s because he wanted to walk on the wild side. Can’t be good all the time.

“After all, it’s hard for Sam to find someone who can accept his true nature.”

Well put, Bill.  Sookie feels the same is true about her and Bill.

He talks about the deal in Dallas. Stan agreed to let the shifters use his ranch (his ranch?) on the full moons. To clear out the deer. Weirdness.

Bill apparently cut himself a hidey hole in Sookie’s guest bedroom closet so he doesn’t have to rush home to beat the sunlight. He goes to bed and Sookie follows soon after. And sleeps for 12 hours. They have what Bill claims is the best sex of her life and then she sends him after the newspaper. Bill finds more than a paper on the front porch. He comes back in with a chocolate cake that Sookie knows was baked by Mrs. Bellefleur.  The old woman also left a message on her answering machine.

When Sookie tells Bill the woman’s full name, Caroline Holliday Bellefleur, he freezes up and instructs her to go over to his house and get a Bible he has. Strange. But she does and when she gets back with it, Bill opens it to reveal a ledger of sorts. It has his family’s birth and death dates listed in it. (I think my grandma actually has one of these.) We learn a few things from this ledger. First, Bill’s middle name is Thomas. Second, he was born April 9, 1840. Bill’s wife’s name was Caroline Isabelle Holliday.

Oh snap, people.

They had three children. Thomas Charles Compton, Sarah Isabelle Compton, and Lee David Compton. The last of which died as a baby, but the other two grew up and had children of their own. Jessie Compton, the man Bill had inherited the house from, was the last in his line. Or so he thought. But his daughter Sarah had had children as well. Sarah’s daughter Caroline married Matthew Holliday. They had a daughter also named Caroline (odd).

Turns out, Mrs. Bellefleur is Bill’s great-granddaughter. Which means Andy and Portia are also his descendents. (Makes those dates with Portia weird now, doesn’t it?) Bill decides he will help them out, financially and otherwise. Sookie doesn’t seem very thrilled at this prospect. When Sookie asks why he didn’t like the Bellefleurs, he reminds her of the story that he told at the Descendents of the Glorious Dead meeting, the one about his friend Tolliver. The boy Tolliver had died trying to save was Jebediah Bellefleur. Guess he’s changed his tune about them now.

He thanks Sookie for helping him reconnect with his humanity.

“I am a vampire, Sookie. I have been a vampire far longer than I was human. I have upset you many times. To tell the truth, sometimes I can’t understand why you do what you do, because it’s been so long since I was a person. It’s not always comfortable to remember what it was like to be a man. Sometimes I don’t want to be reminded.” These were deep waters for me. “I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but I don’t know how to be different,” I said. “I’d be miserable if it wasn’t for you.” “If anything happens to me,” Bill said, “you should go to Eric.”

This is interesting. In the last book, he said something similar, only he told her to go to Sam. She notices that, too.

“You’ve said that before,” I told him. “If anything happens to you, I don’t have to go to anyone. I’m my own person. I get to make up my mind what I want to do.”

Thumbs up, Sookie. Why is Bill always being Mr. Pessimistic? He mentions the Fellowship and how he’s probably going to do more things to upset her. But she insists they’ll take it as it comes.

In the low-lit kitchen, with the coffee smelling as beautiful (in its own way) as the chocolate cake did, and the rain drumming on the roof, I was having a beautiful moment with my vampire, what you might call a warm human moment. But maybe I shouldn’t call it that, I reflected, rubbing my cheek against Bill’s. This evening, Bill had looked quite human. And I-well, I had noticed while we made love on our clean sheets, that in the darkness Bill’s skin had been glowing in its beautiful otherworldly way. And mine had, too.

First, oh crap! I knew Sookie was getting more vampire-esque. Could this mean that she will become one? Also, Sookie seems rather obsessed with clean sheets. I wonder if this is a pet peeve of Charlaine Harris’. Additionally, I wish I had a dollar for every beautiful thing in that paragraph.

Well, that was Living Dead in Dallas. Two down, eleven to go. And I’m already a week behind. I am never going to make it by May 7^th.  Wait, let’s be positive.

I am positive I will not make it by May 7^th. Better?

Anyway, I enjoyed this book, but it was weird that there were two unrelated plot lines going down. Also, still too much Bill. But never fear, Bill non-lovers! Our day will come!

Until the next book…