Thursday Throwdown- Sookie Stackhouse Edition
Courtney:
In alignment with the first Wednesday writes, or whatever
it’s called (yeah we don’t even fully know the themes, so don’t worry if you
don’t either), today’s Throwdown will be about who Sookie should end up with.
We will present the pros and cons of each potential suitor, declare who we want
to win, and predict who we think will
win. Spoiler alert: we will probably mention some things you haven’t read about
in Mallory reads yet, so if you want to wait and read her stuff and taint your
mind with her team leanings, then quit now and read her posts through to the
end. Don’t forget to come check this out though. We may incorporate things from
the show and the books, but we will keep you up to speed and our predictions
and choices may be different depending on the media outlet.
Mallory: I shall place all of my
comments in red.
Sam Merlotte: Ahh Sam. Sam is a shifter, most commonly shifting
into the form of a dog. However, on TB he has also taken the form of a fly and
flown inside a guy and shifted back to human exploding the guy he was in. HA!!!
It was hilarious. Anyway, on the show Sam looks like this:
This is not exactly how I picture book Sam. Book Sam is not
quite as attractive as this Sam (Sam Trammell b-t-dubs. Yes Sam is played by Sam
it’s all very ironic) in my opinion. That’s just
because he’s almost a ginger in the books. Wait, I thought you were in to
gingers? J
Pros: He is just really freaking awesome! He is nice, but
he’s also a fighter. He owns his own business and has managed to keep it afloat
despite many of his employees frequently being out (coughSookiecough). He has
had terrible TB relationship luck as most of his girlfriends have died or just
been crappy in general and should have died, yet somehow he keeps going. He is
very attractive and gives Sookie the best shot at a mostly human life. Thanks
to his shifter status, his thoughts are not overbearing on Sookie and come in
staticy, which would mean the mind reading thing would not be too much of a
burden. Most of these things are true for the book and the show, but in the
books his relationships have not been quite as rocky. Though
two women he dated in the books tried to kill Sookie, and one did kill him for
a minute. As Sookie put it, He didn’t
need a ferocious, anything for the packmaster kind of woman. He needed to be
with a woman who thought he was the greatest man around (DITF). Like Sookie
perhaps? In the books, and mostly in the show, Sam is always there for
Sookie to bring her back to a less complicated more normal life. He is pretty
much her best friend and truly loves her. Sookie also loves him, but alas they
have a love of friendship. For now. But, at least in
the books, we know there’s a physical attraction. Major plus side, he’s
a freaking shifter. He can turn into anything. If he were mine, I would ask him
to turn into a mini panda, because I have always wanted one. Imagine having a
zoo full of pets at your disposal that would never even kill you. Also, dolphin
for the pool!!! That’s money.
Cons: TB Sam has a craptastic family (flipside they are all
dead now so it doesn’t really matter). TB Sam also seems to have been some sort
of criminal in his former life pre-Bon Temps bar owner. Show Sam has a lot more anger issues than book Sam, who is mostly chill. Another
con, that bar he owns has got to be in dire straits financially and being
married to an entrepreneur can be a rough life (that’s my small business
expertise coming in-C). Sookie seemed pretty psyched
about becoming part owner of his business, though. Also, he isn’t a
vampire, which is kind of a con because he can neither turn anyone into a
shifter nor live forever. But, I’m pretty sure book
Sookie will not become a vampire so she’s not going to live forever either.
Show Sookie might, however.
Courtney: I predict that Sam has the second best shot of
winning Sookie in the books. On the show, he’s pretty much second to last. I
want book Sam to win second most and show Sam to win third most.
Mallory: I predict that book Sam
will be the one Sookie chooses. This is what I want to happen (TEAM SAM!) but I
also think it will happen. The two
have grown closer since the beginning of the series. They’re best friends, they
can depend on each other, and there is something between them that has never
been explored. For more on why I think these two will end up together see my
other upcoming blog: The Underestimation of Sam Merlotte. On the show… well, that’s
trickier. I’m prone to liking Sam and Sookie on the show because I love them in
the books. But, unlike the book series, the characters have not grown closer
together since season one. They’ve actually seemed to grow apart. On the one
hand, their relationship was left open at the end of season one and sometimes
it seems like Sam still has feelings for Sookie so it’s hard to tell if they
might get another shot. Right now I’m thinking show Sam probably won’t get the
girl.
Alcide Herveaux: Listen, Alcide is one big, steaming hot, piece
of man meat. Alcide is a werewolf of the Shreveport pack. This is important to
know because it frequently plays an annoying role in show and book goings on. He
looks like this on the show and I feel like this is pretty true to the book:
I know you are thinking ‘where is the hot steaminess?’ Right
here:
Yes, I know there was only one shot of Sam and I know he
wasn’t shirtless, but this is a throwdown and it isn’t about fairness it’s
about laying the smack down on people. Also, it is about eye candy. And Alcide
(aka Joe Manganiello) is the Ferrero Rocher of eye candy. He’s too sexy for his everything…
Pros: Alcide could offer Sookie a better chance of happiness
and seemingly more normalcy than any of our vampire candidates and he could
possibly give her children, which she seems to want in the books. He stays warm
all the time, which is not really a necessity in southern Louisiana, but all
the same, sometimes you want a warm man to cuddle with. He’s big and strong and
manly, manly, manliness and he oozes sex appeal. I’m not shallow (yes I am) but
you have to be attracted to your mate, and wolves mate for life (just saying
when the divorce rate is 50% you don’t want to be another statistic). Also, he
has been more than willing on several occasions to protect Sookie. In the books
and in the show, he pretty much owns Herveaux Construction and he seems to be
financially secure (in this economy, in construction, got to be in the mob). On
the whole, despite having several moments where I was mad at him, Alcide is a
pretty good dude. Agreed.
Cons: Though Alcide is not a vampire, he is deeply
entrenched in wolfy affairs and keeps having to battle for pack supremacy.
Seems like every other book he’s having to fight someone. It’s only really
happened once on the show, but the whole wolf battle thing and leading the pack
thing is weird quite frankly. In the books, he has almost passed the point of
no return as far as being too deep into the wolf thing. I’m over him. In the
show, he is enveloped in the wolf thing, but he still has Sookie on his mind. I agree. Book Alcide just seems to mostly annoy Sookie at
this point. True Blood Alcide may still have a shot if he takes his shirt off a
lot. Just sayin…
Courtney: I lust Alcide. I mean, I really like his muscles
and his manly beard. Listen, he’s hot, that is obvious. However, I do think at
times that Alcide would be a good match for Sookie. I think he has a strong
shot on the show and is in fact the current frontrunner, but in the books he’s
next to last. Here it is: at this point in time, I’m dunzo with book Alcide and
hope he finishes dead last. However, I am somewhat leaning towards Alcide on
the show. He’s tied for first.
Mallory: Book Alcide doesn’t stand a
chance. I think he’s in last place as far as winning Sookie over. She’s never
had a relationship with him and doesn’t seem to want one. On my list, Alcide
comes in third. On the show, at least as of season 5, Alcide could potentially
win Sookie’s affections. Hell, he’s already gotten more action than book Alcide
ever got. I actually wanted the two to hook up last season. I’m interested to
see where their relationship goes.
Eric Northman: My man! TEAM ERIC!!!!! Wait, this is just the
synopsis. Eric is the vampire sheriff of vampire area five in the vampire state
of Louisiana. In the books, he has gotten screwed over by his idiot maker, who
I am currently hella mad at, because even in the afterlife he is ruining Team
Eric’s shot at happiness. In the show, he’s doing okay but he’s kind of still
an a-hole. In the books, he always has long Viking hair. In the show, he cut
it. Praise Alan Ball or whoever made that decision. I love Charlaine Harris’
work, but for crying out loud, get some haircuts going on. Anyway, he kinda
looked like this on the show at first and this is comparable to book Eric,
though book Eric’s hair is much longer:
Pros: Eric is pretty much all pros. He is sexy, super sexy.
Maybe he’s not as good looking as Alcide or Sam but he is way sexier (ok Alcide
is a very, very close second). Yes there is a difference between sexy and hot
but that’s for another blog. In the books, I so believe he really cares about
Sookie and is a victim of some circumstances that were beyond his control. In
the books, they are married and some people seem to be forgetting that
ahemMalloryahem. Ok. Ok. They are married under vampire law, but hey vampire
law is probably older than human law so that probably makes it count more, not
less. You seem to forget Eric tricked Sookie into vampire marrying
him, so how legit could it be? Also, when the vampires first came out of
the coffin, weren’t we all for vampire equality? If they are married with
vampires, to deny this marital bond in the human world is like declaring
vampire love to be less real than human love. Love is love and I think we
should accept and embrace this because in bookland, Eric and Sookie are in
love. Be with the one you love. That may have taken a slight detour. Eric is
also a high ranking vampire official and owns his own business, the
illustrious, notorious Fangtasia. But what about how
being with an entrepreneur can be a strain on your life? He has fought
for Sookie and more importantly, he loves her in a not over the top way. Look
at him looking at her all adoringly.
Don’t be hatin. Yes there are three pictures of Eric. That’s
because Eric is the best. Wasn’t that picture from a
dream sequence? On the show, he is also awesome, just not quite as much.
He didn’t get sucked in by the vampire alliance or whatever they were. They got
Bill but they couldn’t get Eric. That’s because Eric isn’t an idiot moron. See
there: beauty and brains.
Cons: What cons? He had a junky maker who bonded him with
some vamp tramp in the books which is totally out of his control. But, Sookie offered to run away with Eric and he turned her
down. Yes, he claimed it wasn’t safe, but it seems to me like if he loved her
more than he loves being a vampire then he would find a way to fight for her.
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, he still has one more book to do just
that, but I doubt he will. He loves Sookie and that’s why he tricked her
into marrying him. Did I say tricked? I meant coerced… that doesn’t sound any
better. Listen, she wanted to marry him anyway so who even cares how it happened.
Yes she was mad, I know she was, but that’s beside the point. She loves Eric,
why would she not want to be with him forever? But she
won’t be with him forever. And Eric, like Alcide, is too wrapped up in
supernatural politics. Even if he manages to get around marrying the queen of
Oklahoma or wherever, I can’t see him giving up all of his power. Especially
not for a girl who will only be around for a short time. Sookie broke their
blood bond because she wanted to be sure her feelings for him were real, and
ever since then, things have gotten worse between them. I think that Eric loves
Sookie, but I also think that Eric has not changed from the beginning of the
book until now. The only difference between the Eric we met in Dead Until Dark and the Eric from Deadlocked, is that now he loves Sookie.
I think of Eric like I think of Damon from Vampire Diaries. They care about who
they care about and screw everyone else.
TB Eric is not quite as loving toward Sookie, but that’s
because we haven’t gotten as far. Give it time. I’ll be waiting. Eric is also a
vampire so he can’t give Sookie kids and she doesn’t want to be a vamp so
that’s a little ominous. At a Dragon Con panel one
year, Charlaine Harris said she had always known how the series would end. She
said the books also took a detour from her original plan after book 3ish (I
believe) which was before Sookie and Eric were more than frenemies. Plus, their
relationship has been on a downward spiral for the last two books and it’s not
looking good for it to rebound. Sookie loves Eric, but sometimes love is not
enough (words included in the description of Dead Ever After).
Courtney: TEAM ERIC FOREVER!!!!! I want Eric to win Sookie
on the show and in the books. Yes, in the show it’s hard to say that because he
doesn’t really love her that much right now, but this isn’t a race about who
can love who the fastest. They have forever together. On the flipside, Eric is
not going to win in the books, like he’s in last. Know how I know? Because
Charlaine Harris basically told me to my face that it wasn’t going to happen
and killed my very dreams. By basically, I mean she said that at a DragonCon
panel with probably 200 people there, but she was looking in the direction of
the crowd, so yeah, she said it to my face. On the show, well who knows really,
right now it’s not looking great for him, but I would say he’s second most
probable right now.
Mallory: I don’t think Eric will win
Sookie in the books. I put him in 3rd place. On the show, I think he
still stands a chance. I can see TB Sookie turning into a vampire, which opens
up a whole window of opportunities for Eric and Bill. Let it be known that I
was Team Eric for a lot of the book series and on the show as well. But as the
books are winding down, Eric only seems to make Sookie miserable and she
deserves happiness, dang it! If TB Eric steps up his game he could just come
out the victor. I think I’d be on board with that. I do like me some bad boys.
Bill Compton: Vampire Bill is a vampire. TB Vampire Bill is
like the king of the world or something stupid and is also like the vampire
god. It’s all really very stupid and vampire politics bore the hound out of me
and cause actual anger in me. Book Bill is more of a vampire database engineer
and general neighbor of Sookie’s who was her first love and stuff. He looks
like this:
I know you are again
questioning the fairness, but listen, if you haven’t noticed, I’m not about
fairness. I will have you know, before you question the ethics of this
throwdown yet again, that this is in fact the best pic of Bill I could find.
He’s just not that good looking, especially compared to everyone else. This is
probably close to what I think book Bill looks like too. Also, Bill (aka
Stephen Moyer) is married to Anna Paquin (aka Sookie) in real life so… yeah.
Pros: Book Bill is a lot
better than show Bill because he isn’t around as much. Book Bill is also still
clearly in love with Sookie even after all this time. He will still fight for
her and die to save her. This is admirable I guess. One
thing book Bill has in his corner is that he is not completely wrapped up in
vampire politics. I think if Sookie asked him to run away with her, he would. TB
Bill is powerful.
Cons: Bill is just stupid. He
also has stupid hair. In the books, he’s kind of a romantic sap. In the show,
he has turned into a power hungry, political juggernaut and vampire god. Bill
always has to have a storyline on the show apparently, so the whole vampire
politics thing was created just for him. Unlucky everyone who watches the show.
The vampire politics storyline is more annoying than the book fairy storyline
and that is saying something. TB Bill doesn’t even seem to care about Sookie
most of the time unless it will help him become the all great and powerful
blood covered whatever he is. I liked show Bill a little better than book Bill
until this arc started and now I don’t like either of them. Bill is also a
vampire so no little Sookies to run around Bon Temps and wig out the locals,
but he is one of those sort of self loathing vampires who is very tortured by
his past and his eternal damnation. Broody. It’s not a good look for anyone. No
one likes a brooder. Except members of teams Angel, Bill, and Edward… those
people are embarrassing. All true on show Bill. As far
as book Bill, he just hasn’t been around that much. He and Sookie broke up in
book 3 and haven’t been together since. She still cares for him, but hasn’t
considered taking him back. She even laid naked on top of him once and never
thought, ‘oh, this is nice, I miss this.’ Her choosing Bill at the end would
just be lame. He may have been her first love, but in 9 books he’s just been
her ex boyfriend who occsaionally helps her out.
Courtney: I predict Bill has
the best shot of getting Sookie in the books, mostly because of a statement
Charlaine Harris made at DragonCon in 2011. This is seriously devastating. I
predict show Bill had the best shot, but now I don’t even know where to put
him. However, as far as how much I want Bill to win, he’s in last place on
both.
Mallory: I put Bill
in 2nd place in book world. Even though he and Sookie have been over
for a while and I think she’s mostly over him, his willingness to put her first
will get him some points. I predict he will kiss her at least once in the final
book, and she may even consider giving him another chance. (Let me just point
out how her whole reasoning for dumping him to start with was a bit ridiculous.
She overreated big time. Not that I’m complaining cause Bill ranks next to last
on my like-o-meter but you know.) But in the end I don’t think she’ll choose
him. He’s still dead. Show Bill is just ridiculous. I can’t stand him at all.
He’ll probabaly turn his un-life back around and she’ll take him back though
cause show Sookie seems to like Bill a whole lot more than book Sookie who, by
the way, was never even sure she was in
love with Bill. I hope Bill loses all around.
Quinn the Tiger: What was his last name? Anh who cares. Quinn is a
weretiger/party planner. He looks like this:
Yeah that’s Mr. Clean… Quinn doesn’t exist in show world, so
we have to make do with a close approximation. This is pretty much a dead
ringer, except maybe he doesn’t have white eyebrows. That is not to say that he
has no eyebrows. He’s not Whoopi Goldberg. Lol.
Pros: He’s a tiger, he’s pretty cool I guess. He could
probably give Sookie a fairly normal life. None.
Cons: Where is the drama? Yes drama isn’t always good but we
need some spice. Also, Quinn can only turn into a tiger. Not a multitude of
things like Sam. Not a scary wolf like Alcide. A tiger. Cause those are native
to Louisiana… NOT!!! Sookie doesn’t love him.
Courtney: I’m ok with Quinn. He can win if it’s between him
and Bill I guess.
Mallory: I do not like Quinn. He
ranks last on my book list. Don’t ask me why but ever since the tiger first
licked Sookie on the leg, I did not like him at all. My opinions did not
improve. He may be the nicest dude in the world, but if Sookie ends up with
him, I’m gonna be exceptionally angry. For one thing, Sookie does not love him.
She may care for him and they may have sexual chemistry, but they do not belong
together. I feel like Quinn was just a place holder until Sookie finally got
with Eric. She always made a big deal out of his family issues, but really that
was just an excuse to get rid of him. I’ll even quote him to prove my point.
“Why are you harder on me than on anyone else?” he asked. “I
am not,” I said instantly. But then I thought, am I? “Have you asked Eric to
give up Fangtasia? Have you asked Bill to give up his computer enterprise? Have
you asked Sam to turn his back on his family?” “What…?” I began, trying to work
out the connection… “I told you that I wanted to be first with the guy in my
life….I haven’t asked Eric to give up Fangtasia. Why would I do that? And where
does Sam come into it?” (DAG)
Hoyt Fortenberry: Ooooooohhhhhhh. Got you there didn’t I? No
one saw Hoyt coming. I did. Boom! Hoyt is a normal human. He is BFFs with
Jason, Sookie’s bro, and he has had steady employment since we have known him.
He looks like this on the show and in the books as far as I’m concerned:
Pros: He is a HUMAN!!!!! That means if all the supes would
get the heck out of Dodge, and by Dodge I mean Bon Temps, he could truly give
Sookie a chance at a normal life. Hoyt is a nice guy. He is best friends with
Sookie’s brother Jason, and he works, so that’s awesome. Hoyt should be
considered a contender.
Cons: He’s a HUMAN!!! Lame. Really, did you see Alcide’s 14
pack? Did you see Eric looking sexy as everything? Hoyt. Bless his heart. Also,
in the show, he keeps getting into debacles. Plus, Sookie could hear his
thoughts and junk and that would not make for good whoopee.
Courtney: On the show and in the books, Hoyt has no chance
at winning. I wish he would win in the books and in the show but only as
opposed to like Bill or something.
Mallory: No, just no. Humans are out
for Sookie. Didn’t book Hoyt have a girlfriend? I’ll admit show Hoyt deserves
some love, but not from Sookie.
And now for some eye candy and humor to close out our blog.
So because Jason can’t be a contender, we shouldn’t look at
shirtless pictures of him? That’s why there are no rules here. You are welcome.
This
makes me LAL. Laugh at Layfayette. Big ups to whoever made this photo.
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